Tuesday, March 3, 2009

Putting my best foot forward

Once upon a time, there was a girl who fell down the stairs bringing an awesome piece of Eddie Bauer luggage downstairs for her sister. Her sister needed to borrow it for a trip that she ended up not taking because she got snowed in at the Flying J Truck Stop for 14 hours. Said trip was supposed to be with entire eighth grade class to Washington D.C. An entire week. Over 2,000 miles round trip. They were gone 14 hours and only made it to exit 35. (She said they actually did make it to Arlington....But it was Arlington TN, not Arlington, VA!)

So, when luggage-loaning sister fell down the stairs, her foot really hurt. It hurt and was purple and swollen She hardly noticed it all weekend. In fact, she whined and complained to the Captain for two solid days hardly even mentioned it.

She finally decided that it may be a good idea to get it checked out. So yesterday morning she went downstairs and got xrays and saw one of our foot and ankle surgeons.

And this is how that all played out...

MD: "So, what did you do to your foot?"

Me: "Welllll.....I don't know."

MD: "Well, I know. You fractured it."

Me: whimper whimper "Define that."

MD: "You BROKE your FOOT."

Me: "Like just kind of broken?"

MD: "No, really broken."

Me: "Like broken all the way through? Like broken in TWO?"

MD: "Yes, BROKEN. It's a pretty good fracture."

Me: *sniff*

MD: "And it's your driving foot too. Hmmmmm."

Me: boo hoo hoo

MD: "You really need to be in a boot."

Me: things are looking up "A boot?! OK - I can do a boot. I was scared you were gonna put me in a c--- ooops! I almost said it - but I'm not gonna' say it and give you any wild ideas. But I was really afraid of that. I even triple shaved this morning. AND painted my toenails just in case."

And then we hobbled off - well I hobbled off and followed the doctor who has a normal gait - and looked at the xray.

And sure enough.

He was right.

It's broken.

My fourth metatarsal.

Wanna' know where that is? It's this one right here.....

And no, that's not my foot.

This is......

I have to wear this very fashionable boot for three weeks. And then we'll xray again and see where we are.

I'm not complaining. Because I didn't want a c-a-s-t. So I will wear the boot. Which I get to take off when I drive. And when I sleep. And when I take a shower. And yes, I can shave my legs. Can I have an amen?

And people have already asked me if I broke my foot over the weekend in the ice and snow. Well no, but that would make a much better story wouldn't it?

And yes, I do wear Curious George pajama pants.

3 Wanna' ramble too?:

connie said...

First, I'm glad that xray isn't your foot or you would have other issues.
Second, I am quite sorry I even had to borrow said wonderful Eddie Bauer luggage. If I had my own (ahem) I wouldn't need to borrow!
Third...stupid bus...

mom said...

Only my Angie can make something funny out of something that is NOT funny. Don't you just love her? And someone told me the other day that her sister is funny, too. I already knew that- wonder where they got that gene ------as Angie would say - OK people we all know where the funny gene came from - "That's all folks"

JuJu said...

I think your sister is going to be in your debt for awhile? As they said in 16 Candles, "a dose of guilt can be highly profitable!"