Randomisms

Yeah, so I'm off work again today, too.

Excellent decision.

Ten random things from the weekend.


1.  I went to play golf on Friday with the Captain and Cooper.  And by "play golf'", I mean drive the cart.

2.  I want my own golf cart.

3.  We went to the new international farmers market twice over the weekend.  Lots of yummy things there.  We also said "What's this?" a lot. Seriously, some veggies I've never even heard of. 

4.  We decided to try something new every time we go there.    Red bean ice cream was one of our first trials.  I like red beans.  I like ice cream.  I do not like those things together.

5.  Have been reading, reading, reading.  Love.

6.  Watched lots of college baseball this weekend.  Hooray for JuJu's brother whose Missouri Tigers won their conference championship.  Yay! The Memphis Tigers didn't fare so well.  Boo.

7.   Cooper is obsessed wtih burning sticks in my bug candle.  Is this fire obsession normal for nine year old boys or do I have a pyromaniac on my hands?

8.   Cooper and I went to watch the Memorial Day parade at my mom's place yesterday.  We ended up IN the parade.   Another ride in a golf cart.   Coop thought he was Mr. VIP and totally loved it.

9.   National spelling bee is this week. L-O-V-E

10.   Nothing else to add.  So this is just filler.

I'm off to enjoy another full day of nothing.

Summer. Bring it.

Three hours of school for Cooper this morning are all that stands between him and summer. 

Jordan's summer has already started.  i.e. I have hardly seen her this week. 

Me?  I'm tacking a few days on this long weekend for an even longer weekend.  

No real plans for the lazy, long, hot weekend. 

What about you?  Whatcha' doin'?

*honk honk*

Dropped Jordan off at the gym the other day.

Not the day that the Captain made her walk home.

But the day before that.

And, I noticed this...

A gigantic goose thing.


Seriously.  This thing was huge.  HUGE.

So I called the authorities immediately.

i.e. The Captain.

I told him the police department should be on high alert and get the SWAT team ready because there was a gigantic killer goose thing on the loose about to terrorize the city.

He wasn't phased. 

And pretended like we got disconnected.

OK, he didn't do that.  But he did have a total non-reaction.

He told me to send him the pics.

So I did.

And he texted me back.

"It's a swan."

"Ummmm, no.  It's GIGANTIC with no swoopy neck."

"Black legs = Swan."

"Killer goose thing."

And that's when he quit replying to me...

When I picked Jordan up later, the gigantic killer goose thing had moved over to the other side of the parking lot and there were cars all around it and park rangers and folks.

I texted the Captain again: 

"Must be some special goose because park ranger people all around it.  People gathered around."

"humph"

"Looks like a park ranger truck and a guy on a cart thing and a few cars all around.  Why would they do that?  Cause he's a gigantic killer goose?" 

No reply from the Captain.

Why doesn't he ever take me seriously?!?!?

So I decided to take matters in my own hands, and throwing caution to the wind, I pulled on over there and hopped out. 

"What is it?!?!? A gigantic killer goose thing?!?!?"

But one of the ladies said, "No, it's our pet trumpeter swan."

"YOUR PET?!?!?!?!"

She had been missing for three weeks.

Now, how something the size of my couch could be roaming the city streets without anybody noticing is beyond me.  But it happened

And so the story goes, that the gigantic killer goose thing  trumpeter swan had a friend back home who has been sad and missing his friend. 

We left with the dad deciding to find some corn and a net.  I guess they were going to try to catch her and put her in the car and drive her home.

Now *that* would be a sight....

But, here she is....

The Captain dished out a little "I told you so" that night. 

Blah.

Honk.

Tuesday night review

A recap of the evening at mi casa.
Jordan went to the gym and the Captain was going to pick her up on his way home from work.

Then we found out the Captain was at his mom's house working on his boat.  That was fine.  It's near the gym.

Text from Jordan:  Somebody come get me.

Text from me:  Text your dad.  He's near.

And she waited and waited. 

Then their exchange went something like this:

Hello??  Want me to start walking?

And he apparently said yes. 

Because she started walking.

But then he picked her up part way. No worries.

My dinner was nuts because I really didn't feel like making anything.  Or even thinking of anything.  So we had some pasta.  And pizza bites.  Because they are kind of Italianish so it went along with the theme and I pretended like it was a perfect side dish.

Then I heard Cooper say, "Hey dad, wanna' whittle?"

The Captain told Coop to go find some sticks.

I don't think this is what he had in mind.

They broke off a few small pieces off that tree thing and then they started whittling.  Like Jed and Jethro.

Me and my kindle had grand plans to sit outside with the Clampett boys but those were thwarted by Jordan and a 5 page study guide for an English final exam.

So we reviewed all sorts of poetry terms and fancy things like that.

While she held Gauge in her lap like a baby.

It was ... odd....

Because he usually doesn't like to be held.  Much less cuddled.  And he is ... big. 

Look at these goobers.



Then Cooper started catching sticks on fire with my bug candle.

And I actually said these things out loud:

Do not catch the dog on fire.

Do not catch your sister's hair on fire.

Do not catch the chair cushions on fire.

Then it got dark and we all came inside.    Cooper started asking about how fast cardboard burns.  I may have a problem here....

Then he drug out that geo gami book again. 

So I took a stab at a hexahedron.

Whatever that is....

It only ended up with a little kite looking thing.  I don't think that's a hexahedron.

I told him he can't wait until 9pm to start working on these things.  Because my brain is tired and my eyes don't work.

So we all went to bed.

And I woke up at 3am. And have been awake ever since.

The end.

Behold, the fold.

Coop got a new Geo-Gami book which will enable you to "create multidimensional geometric origami."  I'm not real sure what that means since they lost me at "create."

In a typical bedtime stall technique, he wanted to make one last night...

So he and the Captain got out the paper and the book and decided on "a simple one since it's almost bedtime."

They picked the fluted diamond.

Sounds simple enough.

About two folds into it, the Captain requested his glasses.   That's never good.

About two more folds into it, the Captain started pretending like he was  getting important police messages on his phone.

So I took over the folding.

Lift. Fold. Turn over. Open. Fold the left. Flatten.  Unfold.  Lift. Fold the right.

Wait what?

Cooper's interested waivered between the fluted diamond geo-gami and the American Ninja Warrior show.

Finally.  The thing was complete.   Maybe.

Then the book said,  "Make a second module identical to the first."

And the mother said, "We will finish this tomorrow."

So tonight I will begin phase two of the fluted diamond construction.

Stay tuned.

Monday, Monday

Hi, my name is Angie, and I'm off work today.

What am I going to do, you ask?

Exciting things like perform an intervention on my closet, clean out my frig, take a bunch of stuff to the goodwill, tame some of this clutter.

You know, stuff like that.

Call me weird, but I call that a good day.

behold, my brilliance

Needed to order a banner for a sponsorship thing I'm doing at work.

And it needed to be 2.5' x 12'.

Easy enough.

So I email the banner guy and ask him to make a banner that's 2.5' x 12'.

He emails me back with this info:

 

"The banner material actually comes 38" tall. I can cut the material down to 30" tall, but the cost would stay the same."

 

No problem about the price.

 

But that 30"?  Hmmmmm.  Not sure about that.

 

So I email him again:

 

"The space won't support the 30" -- could it be cut down to 2.5'?"

 

Yes, I did.

 

I am so smart.

 

I didn't even catch my lapse in mathematical judgment until his reply:

 

"2.5' is 30"."

 

Ohhhh, why yes, yes it is.

 

Obviously, I'm now looking for a new banner guy since I won't be able to show my face in that place again.