Cooper, M.D.

Jordan came home from school yesterday complaining of a sore throat.

Swine flu! Swine flu!

Actually I think she just had a good case of the Whine Flu.

Which ended up evolving into the You Are Fine Flu.



Here are Cooper's thoughts on the Swine Flu....



How did the Swine Flu get started?
It all started with a pig in Mexico who had a fever. He gave the fever it to a bird in Texas, who gave it to a human in Texas. And now a human in Tennessee has it.


What should we do to not get the Swine Flu?
Don't get too close to pigs. Or birds. Wash your hands ten times a day. Check your fever every day. Not the tongue way -- the booty way. Drink water. Do not hold hands with anybody. Brush your teeth after you eat pork or a pig.


How do you know you have the Swine Flu?
You feel hot. You have a frown.


What should you do if you catch the Swine Flu?
Drink your medicine five times a day. Take your fever every day. The tongue way. When you get the Swine Flu, it goes straight up to your mouth, so once you get it, you have to take your fever the tongue way. Not the booty way any more. Do not eat your veggies. Do not eat pineapple or pears or pizza.


So people, there you have it. Please wash your hands. And send me your co-pay.