Can I interest you in a .....

I know times are tough right now. And I can only imagine how hard things are if you are a salesperson. Seriously. People aren't buying anything. And it's a salesperson's job to sell things.


I'm in Marketing & PR. I work in a very well known medical practice in town.

My phone rings a lot. I get *lots* of sales calls. Seriously people. I get tons of phone calls. And I know those people are just doing their jobs. But there are lots of people out there who are wanting us to sponsor events, purchase items, utilize services, etc., etc., etc.


I've get calls from people peddling yellow pages, athletic events, community functions, school happenings, every magazine/newspaper/publication you can think of, radio, TV, billboards, runs, walks, t-shirts, the list goes on.

Probably the most "out there" request I've ever gotten was from the guy who wanted us to sponsor the porta-potties at a fair. Wait? What? Ummmm, no. I'm sure there's a joke there. But I'm not going there. Oh! Get it? GOING there. GOING THERE?!?!? I'm so funny. I'm even funny when I'm trying not to be funny. Honestly, how do you people stand me?



Anyhoo, a few little helpful hints for all of you sales people out there who are beating the streets every day.

• Please get my name right.

• Please do not call me Miss Angie. I am not your son's kindergarten teacher.

• Get the name of my company right.

• Do not make cold calls.

• Know what my practice is about. I do not have "customers". I work in a doctor's office. We call them PATIENTS.

• I know it is important to you to have a face-to-face meeting with me. Sorry. Just can't make that happen with all 1,395 of you each day. So please just be ok with talking with me on the phone. Or better yet, email your info to me.

• And I'm certainly not buying the ol' "I just want ten minutes of your time." Seriously? Just ten minutes? Doubtful.

• Do not tell me how you have been a patient here for years and years. I don't need a run-down on your medical history. Or your mother's medical history. Or your child's medical history. It doesn't change anything about how I will view you, your product or your service. Actually it kind of does, but not in the way you are thinking. We are not indebted to you to purchase your product or service just because you have given us a co-pay. Sorry.

• While it does irritate me a little that you are being a name-dropper, you probably should tell me that you play golf every weekend with Dr. So-And-So. It is a little detail that I do need to know. The whole political thing you know.

• Do not make cold calls. Oh - did I already say that? Well, it's important enough to say twice. So don't do it.

• If you smoke, please store your materials and other propaganda somewhere else. I have a very special plastic lined filing system where I put catalogs, letters, flyers, etc that smell like smoke.

OK, I'm hopping off my soap box now. The end.