It was dicey there for a minute

This is what played out yesterday morning in my kitchen as I was leaving for work....


Me: I need to get you a bracket to fill out today. The play-in game is tonight.

Captain (pouring coffee, not even really looking up, very non-chalant-ish, almost in passing): I don't think I'm going to do a bracket.

Me (spewing coffee in disbelief and hoping to chalk this up to a misunderstanding): Wait - what did you say?

Captain: I probably won't do a bracket this year.

Me (voice four octaves higher): YOU'RENOTDOINGABRACKET!?!?!? WHYAREN'TYOUDOING A BRACKET?!?! WHATDOYOUMEANYOU'RENOTDOING A BRACKET?!?!?!?

Captain: I don't know. I just don't have time. And it's not that big of a deal.

Me (looking for a paper bag to breathe in): Not that big of a deal?!?! Of course it's a big deal. It's the biggest deal of all deals. You HAVE to do a bracket. YOU HAVE TO DO A BRACKET!!

Captain: When do you think I'm gonna' have time to fill out this bracket?

Me (wondering if this would actually be grounds for a scriptural divorce): Time? TIME?! You MAKE time. It's the priority of the day. The most important thing that you have to do all day. The number one thing on your to-do list. It's March Madness for gravy's sake!!!

Captain (just agreeing with me so I'll shut it): OK already. Give me a bracket.

Me (feeling much better about our marriage and feeling a little bad about the earlier divorce thoughts): That's more like it.

Captain (focusing on the newspaper): Go to work.

Me: Give me the crossword. That's the second most important thing that I have to do today.