Monday, November 17, 2008

Flag on the Play

I love football. We watch lots of it at my house. And between the NCAA and NFL schedules, there is at least one game on almost every day. Gotta' love that. It's occurred to me that the penalties that the officials impose on the players are very similar what goes on at my very own house….

Take a look....

Delay of game
When the ball is not snapped before the play clock expires
Any excuse used by my kids to delay bedtime, homework, or bath. For example, Can we just stay up 5 more minutes? Can I have a drink of water? Can I just read two more chapters? Since I took a bath yesterday, do I have to take one again today?

False Start
When a player goes past the line of scrimmage without touching someone before the ball is snapped
Going into your brother's/sister's room

When a player goes past the line of scrimmage and hits someone before the ball is snapped.
Going into your brother's/sister's room and messing with his/her stuff

Illegal use of the hands
Using an illegal blocking technique
Hitting, pinching, grabbing, scratching, pulling, pushing, slapping, poking, smacking, whacking, bashing, smashing, thumping…you get the picture.

Unnecessary Roughness
When a player hits or makes contact with a player after the ball is out of play
Kid continuing to do all the above mentioned "-ing words" after being told to stop.

Illegal motion
When two offensive players are moving at the same time
Kids working together to attempt to gang up against and possibly manipulate parents

Unsportsmanlike conduct
Any act that violates good sportsmanship

Illegal celebration
Any delayed, excessive, prolonged or choreographed act by which a player attempts to focus attention upon himself
Being excited when your brother/sister gets punished. OR Acting up during church or any other time that "still and quiet" is to be practiced.

Any flagrant acts or remarks that deride, mock, bait or embarrass an opponent
Any act of na-na-na-boo-boo'ing. None of which is allowed. We do not na-na-na-boo-boo.

Illegal Substitution
Failure of replaced players to leave the field immediately
Convincing your brother/sister to do your assigned chores.

Too many men on the field
Having more than eleven men on the field during a play.
Can't a mother catch a break and take a bath without somebody knocking on the bathroom door?

Illegal shift
When a player is not set before the snap.
Asking your father permission to do something that your mother has already said no to.

Intentional grounding
When the quarterback throws the ball away to avoid being sacked
The penalty that the Captain and I enforce whenever any of the above rules have been broken.

So you see, our house is very much like the grid iron. All I need is a whistle.

Happy Monday people! Kick it off right.

3 Wanna' ramble too?:

MOM said...

Don't give up. Your Dad always said - "What goes around, comes around". It is amazing to watch the same children who are violating these rules now, grow up to be the parent that has the same rules, and can't understand why they are being violated by their children. It is very much worth the effort. 15-20 years from now, you will reap the harvest of your works. You and your husband will look at each other, sigh and say - it did take after all. You have reached the parental goal - PROUD
Been there, done that.

connie said...

maybe you should just get them football pads and helmets and be done with it...

MOM said...

funny what I remember. When the two of you would get into a disagreement, I would send you to your rooms. then I became the "enemy" and you would spend your time in there talking to each other through the heat vent about the "bad mother". Or, if one was sent and the other still out, you would write notes to each other and push them under the door. Does a parent ever win????