Thursday, May 27, 2010

A hypothetical situation

Today I have a little hypothetical situation for you....

Let's just say that.....

Your home security alarm system battery goes out.

When that happens, your daughter will call you at work and say the control panel is beeping.

About that same time the alarm company will call and say you are having a system failure.

Which will make the control panel beep.

Continuously.

Until you can open the big box thing upstairs and replace the battery.

But if you can't find the key to open the big box thing, the control panel will still just keep beeping.

Beeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep.

And then your daughter will call you at work again and tell you and she also smells smoke.

So you will come home.

That is when you will find out that in addition to the beeping alarm situation, your air conditioner has gone out.

And the air conditioner fixer man can come.

The next day.

But, in the meantime, when you turn off the air conditioner, the beeping alarm will stop.

After five hours of beeping.

Beeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep.

And you will wonder if this is a coincidence.

But you will sweat it out for a night.

And you will put big box fans in front of your kids' beds.

And hope your daughter doesn't lean into the fan too close trying to get cool and get her hair sucked up into it.

And hope your son doesn't lean into the fan too close listening to it make his voice sound funny and get his tongue sucked up in it.

And your Captain husband will turn the ceiling fan up so high to cool off your bedroom that it makes the sheets blow around on the bed and it would be considered "gusty winds" by any meterologist.

But the air conditioner man comes the next day.

Three times.

And he will fix the air conditioner. Kind of.

Because then you will hear him say the four scariest words in the world.....

You need an electrician.

And he will say something about the control panel shorting out and something about a low voltage problem and something else about running the air conditioner through an extention cord in the upstairs bathroom until the electrician can get here and something about that will be $650 please.

So you will probably get a little wigged out that your house may catch on fire during the night while you sleep.

And you will worry that you never really practiced home fire escape drills with your children.

But at least your air conditioner is fixed.

Or so you think.

Until you get up the next day and find out that it still isn't working.

And in the meantime, you will discover a cache of mayonnaise packets in your son's backpack.

And you will hear The Weather Man say something like "today will be another warm and muggy day".

And you will just drink your coffee.

And look out the window at the baby doves in the nest on your porch.

And be thankful that your whole family didn't perish in an overnight house fire.

And wipe your glistening brow.

And say oh well....

6 Wanna' ramble too?:

connie said...

If you give a mouse a cookie....

JuJu said...

Mayonnaise packets.

GET THEE to a hotel room.

angie128 said...

Maybe the mouse chewed on my wires...

Kearsie said...

Wow it almost sounds like my house! Just throw in about 97 million flies who come in the open windows fresh from their cow patty dinners. Then you'd be at my house.

Steve said...

Mmm, mayonnaise!

w said...

maybe what you need is a gardener. because he'll know how to run the hose on you.