Twitty Twitty Bang Bang

This. Right here. Is my. Twitter.


Boy says his belly button is hurting and he doesn't think he can play football today.

Hogs. Win. Please.

Never shake a "less than completely closed" container of powdered sugar.

The Captain snoreth.

Sleep was elusive.

I love the Bee Gees. Don't judge.

Did I really just enter ten minus three on a calculator? Loser.

Why hello there Mr. Grilled Cheese!

I am Lego challenged.

You know how you can close a cardboard box by tucking in all the flaps? I don't know how to do that.

Anybody seen my son's lunchbox?

Just saw big, brown, fluffy make-up brush The Girl left in my purse. It scared me. I thought it was a small rodent.