Monday, January 17, 2011


The weekend. She be over.

And today is a holiday.

At least it is for 75% of my household.

I'm the 25% who will be going to work.


This weekend's recap will be all fancy and organized and will be presented in ABC form.


The Captain took Jordan hunting this weekend. Off she went decked out in her camo and toting her gun. She was also carrying a Vera Bradley bag with a Nicholas Sparks book and her flat iron in it.

She almost got a deer.

She did get an armadillo.

The Captain sent me a picture of Jordan proudly displaying her prized kill.

I forwarded it to Connie and said something to the effect of "If they bring that home to be stuffed and displayed, I'm leaving."

Our home features deer heads, fish, pheasants, and even a coyote. I feel like I've been pretty accommodating to the hunting trophies. I drew the line with the coyote and really could not allow a stuffed armadillo in my house. (Although my MIL totally has a stuffed armadillo in her house on top of her china cabinet. But that is another story for another time. And it may or may not involve my sneaking it across the Mexican border.)

They did not bring the armadillo home. So we all lived happily ever after.

B is for BOY

As you will recall, Cooper didn't want to go hunting. He wanted to stay home and watch Iron Chef with his Mommy. I didn't think much about that until he came home from school with his nails painted. Yes, you read that right. That was one of the prizes he bought in the AR store (The AR store is a fancy name for "You've read a lot of books and earned points, now go buy ridiculous stuff that borders on junk." He also bought "The Incredible Expanding Body Part" but again - another story for another time.) The nail polish was a dark sparkly blue. I asked (in a higher tone than normal) "What other boys picked nail polish for a prize?" He rattled off half the boys in his class and said they were all members of the rock band, so I did feel a little bit better about that decision. A little.

Eventually the combination of the no hunting / cooking show / nail polish choices got the besto f me so I made him watch football all weekend, encouraged burping and nose picking, and let him skip bath for three days.

C is for CLUTTER

I've got the bug. The "throw everything away that isn't moving or in a bin" bug. The clutter is driving me nuts. I swear the Hoarders TV show people are going to knock on my door one day. The Captain makes me watch that show every once in awhile to put my clutter in perspective. I think he also does that because he is worried about my potentially throwing away his stuff.

I successfully cleaned out a few cabinets and drawers. Items pitched include no less than 27 cans of dried up Play-Doh, six of those rubber jar opener things, and a basket with silk flowers glued all over the handle. Plus four big bags or other ridiculous junk.

D is for DRIVING

I was trying to back the Captain's truck in the garage last night - which I have successfully done multiple times. But the kid across the street has started parking his car in front of his house but lined up right with the edge of our driveway and it limited my "turn angle". I almost hit his car twice and almost hit our mailbox three times. It must have been bad and I must have appeared pitiful because my other neighbor (who was taking out his trash) came over to help me get it in the garage. The Captain showed up right after that and saved the day. Their salvation happened right about the time I hit disgust and just threw it in park and left the truck parked in the middle of the street and walked in the house. Done with that. (This was actually three D's - driving, disgust, done. A trifecta!)

I don't have an E so we are going straight to F.


Out of four teams I was pulling for this weekend playing in the NFL divisional playoffs, I only ended up with one victory. My Seahawks, Ravens, and Falcons lost, but the Jets pulled off a win. Next weekend, I'll be pulling for the Bears and the Jets.

This week is a wild one at work - lots and LOTS of stuff going on. And if I live through all of it, I think I'll head to Montgomery, Alabama and watch volleyball all weekend. You know you're jealous of my most exciting life.

OK, that's all I've got. What did YOU do this weekend?

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