Monday Monday

Finally.
A "normal" weekend.
It was nice.
I cleaned and purged and uncluttered and rearranged and organized.
It's what I do. It feeds my Type A.  It soothes my Type A.
Five bags of stuff to donate.
Three bags of junk to throw out.
I started a new book.
I drank lots of coffee.
I got a massage.  Thank you Miss Massage Lady for rubbing my fat for an hour.
I ate cheese dip.
I took a nap.
I got my hair cut.
I watched multiple episodes of American Ninja Warrior with Cooper.
Happy weekend.

Monday randoms

Coop has become quite the little chef. His recent works include blackberry pie and blackened shrimp and grits.  I'm all in favor of his latest hobby.  It's a little more tolerable than the WWE obsession. 

Gauge Dog had some minor surgery on Friday.  Had to have his teeth cleaned which resulted in having a tooth pulled.  Also had some bumpy things removed.  Stitches. Doggie was doped up.  After a druggy Friday night, he's doing much better now.  Thank you for the canine get well wishes.

They've put the school supplies out at Target.  I'm ignoring that entire section of the store.  Dislike times a thousand.

Excited about the Royal Baby.

Long story, but me and the kids went to the races on Saturday night.  Short dirt track stock car races. Yee hah!

Cooper has a ukelele.  Enough said.

Home Run Derby tonight.  Yes.

Finally, I leave you with this.  Happy Monday.

Numero Uno

Remember last Monday when I wrote this:

So it kind of feels like I headed out of town Friday afternoon and spent two days in a convention center gym full of volleyball and shared a tiny double bed with Jordan and got no sleep and then got home last night and didn't really have a weekend. That's what it feels like.

Well, it's about the same thing this morning.

Except instead of sharing a tiny double bed with Jordan, I shared the pull out couch with Cooper. 

THAT, my friends, is a quality sleep situation.

Our hotel was full of volleyball players, lacross players, and farmers.

Well, I found out there were farmers AND ranchers.

And, I also found out there's a difference between farmers and ranchers.

I thought I was the only one who didn't really understand this concept until both my kids rattled off the definitions of each in a "doesn't everybody know this" fashion.

OK, then...

Farmers and ranchers are a little loud in a hotel setting. Yee ha.

And, apparently lacross players are rowdy too, because the Captain overheard a dad proudly say the cops had only been called to the hotel twice the night before.

On the volleyball front... We had been on the road almost an hour Friday evening when I asked Jordan - as I always do - if she had her volleyball bag.  She always ALWAYS says yes.

Except Friday night.

When she said no.

Oh dear.

The Captain pulled over in the middle of dark nowhereville Arkansas and took evvvvvveryyyyyyything out of the back in hopes the knee pads and ankle braces were there.  To no avail.

U turn on I-40.

So there's that.

But the weekend ended up being super duper because they won FIRST PLACE!!!!

Hooray Hooray for winning first in gold!!!

I am so happy for those girls.  And proud.  And, yes I cried.

Then we got in the car and the Captain and I sang 80s songs out loud all the way home.

And I kept making him taste the water that I got from the burger drive through that tasted like dirt until he agreed with me.

And I beat him in arm wrestling.   The fact that he was driving had nothing to do with it, however.

Then we pulled in the garage at 9:30.

And I slept like a baby in a BED.

The end.

Monday has rolled around again

So it kind of feels like I headed out of town Friday afternoon and spent two days in a convention center gym full of volleyball and shared a tiny double bed with Jordan and got no sleep and then got home last night and didn't really had a weekend.  That's what it feels like. 

I am pretty sure I saw a kangaroo though on the way home last night.  Sitting in a field on I-55 somewhere between Jackson, MS and Memphis.   The Captain is a doubter and isn't buying it.  He said it would probably be an emu or even a sasquatch before a kangaroo.  Seriously.  How crazy and improbable is that.  An emu or a sasquatch.  Ridiculous.

And now I have to go to work.  No President's Day holiday for me. Which is a shame.  Because I like the presidents and all that.  And what makes it worse is the other three members of my family are OFF. 

So, Happy Monday and Happy President's Day.

If you need me, I'll be at work.  Yawning. 

It was super

It wasn't much of a productive weekend. But it was a good one.

Let's see... the rest of the weekend in bullets...

Coop and I watched Food Network the whole weekend. And, by the whole weekend, I mean THE WHOLE WEEKEND.

He got a basketball to the face during his game Saturday and is now sporting a shiner. 

He made dinner for me Saturday night ... taco salad and cupcakes.   It was delish and beautiful and he was quite proud of himself.  He made the menu, made the shopping list and did everything (except the oven parts) all by himself.  Good stuff.

Jordan came home from the tournament with some sort of ick.  My Super Bowl half time show featured a trip to the Minor Med.  She's negative for flu and strep and positive for some sort of ick.  No school for her today.

The big game last night was enjoyable I guess.  I was kind of for San Fran.  But also for a few Ravens players.  And, for both coaches.  So, whatever.

I've already got venison stew in my new fancy crock pot for tonight. 

That sums it up.

Brett. Crock. Crazy.

Sorry I didn't post yesterday.

First of all, I was recovering from spending fifteen of my waking hours at the volleyball tournament.

And, hanging out with Brett Favre.

And by hanging out, I mean sitting in the same 150,000 square foot convention center as him and being very interested in the match he was watching.  He was there watching his daughter.   He's tall.  I don't think he had on Wranglers.  And, I will reassure you that he is aging very nicely. 

Yesteray, I was also busy turning another year older.

Can't believe I'm finally 40.

BAHAHAHAHAHA

I'm super excited about my gift from the Captain and the kids.

It's... A NEW CROCKPOT.

Most women would smack their husbands in the face and walk out if they got a crock pot for their birthday, but I clapped my hands with glee and wiped tears of joy from my eyes.

It's a super duper crock pot.  The Cadillac of all crock pots.

I'm really excited about it. 

We spent the evening last night at Coop's basketball game. It was a loss for the Lions.  Coop had a good game with four steals. I was proud of him.  I was also proud of myself for not smacking any of the opposing team's parents who were beyond obnoxious.  But, I figured it would ruin my birthday if I started slugging these rude folks.   Especially the dad who was losing his ever loving mind over a missed double dribble call - when his son's team was up by 20 points with :15 second left.  Simmer down, Mister. 

That sums it up.

Good times.

Review

These things happened this weekend.  Yes, I'm serious:

We saw a dead body on the ground in downtown Birmingham as we drove through there.  Squad cars everywhere.  Jordan said "Oh, they've got a guy on the ground.  He's on the ground. Oh, they are putting a sheet on him.  Dead body. Dead body. Dead body."

That kind of went away when she found out the college football all star game players were staying in the same hotel we were in.

So she went from "Dead body. Dead body. Dead body." to "Football players. Football players. Football players."

In case you were wondering, real live college football players are huge.  I saw two guys the size of a side by side refrigerator.  And another guy in the elevator that was the size OF the elevator.

Let's see... what else....

We rode to dinner with another volleyball mom.  And, in the process of almost running out of gas, got lost and got semi accosted by a hobo.

Volleyball... played well.  Won a few.  Lost more.  First tourny of the year.  Working some kinks out.  Looking forward to a good season.  And a tournament IN TOWN next weekend.  Holla.

Other awkward weird stuff with awkward weird people in the hotel.

I may or may not have been jamming to Pitbull twice during this trip and once missed my exit and another time missed the interstate exit entirely. 

I almost got run off the road last night on the way home.  Had to swerve over in the shoulder.

Glad to finally get home last night.  Guess we drug in about 7:30 pm.

The Captain's grandmother is back in the hospital with some side effects from her chemo.

Also, Jordan's boyfriend's dad had a small stroke yesterday.  He's three months out from a bone marrow transplant for AML, and has been doing well, so there are lots of questions going on there.

Thanks for praying for Betty W. and Bruce T.

Kids out of school today.  The Captain is off work.  But he's gone coyote hunting.  I'm not really sure what that means.  But that's what he's doing.  I have to go to work.  I would think with the combo of the holiday and the inauguration, we should be off work.

Speaking of the inauguration, why does he have to be reinaugurated?  He's already President and has the keys to the House.  So why another party?  I don't get it.

Anyway, my brain and body and emotions are tired today.  But it's the first of many weary post tournament Mondays ahead.  Might as well get used to it.

Happy Monday.

By the numbers

This weekend....

How many football games I watched ... 4

How many winners I picked ... 1

How many naps I took ... 2

How many books I read ... 1.5

High temperature on Saturday ... 72

High temperature today ... 32

How many inches of rain we got yesterday ... 3

How many minutes of the Golden Globes I watched ... 0

How many minutes of Honey Boo Boo I watched ... 60

*yawn*

My daughter's social life and boyfriend are reeking havoc on my sleep.  Curfew. Schmerfew.  I stay up until she's home.  Or until there are no more opposite sex, unrelated teenagers in my house.

It's killing me.

*yawn*

In other news, the weekend was nice...

...even though the Hogs lost.  What else is new?  But it was a great weekend for college football.

And now we have a cool, rainy Monday.  Yippee.

ZZZZzzzzzz

This weekend I slept.
And slept.
And slept.
Seriously.
Friday night in bed at 8:30.
Two naps on Saturday.
Saturday night in bed at 7:30.
Oh, wait.
Fall back.
Make that 6:30.
And call me a Mamaw.
Sunday night in bed at 8:30.
It was delicious.

Costumes and Butcher Knives and Skunks

It was a most excellent weekend.

It was fallish.  And funnish.  And just really really nice.

Cooper picked out his Halloween costume.  It's called the "Emperor of Evil".  I'm not really sure what that means.  But he liked the cape thing and the big medallion and the mask.  And it was cheap.  And now the costume selection is done.  So there's that.

We also scored a headband that makes it look like you've got a butcher knife through your head.  Lovely.  It didn't have a price on it, and the store manager sold it to us for $1.99.  Score. So that's my bargain for the weekend.  A butcher knife through the head headband.  Coop is beside himself with this purchase.  He wears it around and says, "Ohhhh, I have such a headache" and then laughs his head off. 

Operation Skunk Capture the Sequel.  We caught another skunk in the trap.  This one appeared to be a female skunk - or so says the Captain.  She must have been looking for her buddy that went to skunk heaven last week.  Well, we gave her the opportunity to join him.  RIP Mrs. Skunk.

OK, I'm off to hand it to this Monday.

See you on the flip side.

Monday already?

Let's see...

 

This weekend, Jordan did a 5k where they throw colored powder on you as you run the course.  It results in something that looks like this...

 

I think most of the color has come off.  So, at least she won't be going to school looking like a Smurf.

The highlight of Cooper's weekend was that I found those pans that turn a tortilla into a fancy little tortilla bowl.

The Hogs won.  Well, they called the game for lightning, and we were ahead.  So we won.

The Captain got a second degree burn on his hand from a little run in with some hot bean dip.

We watched that crazy guy do that space jump. It was pretty intense.  Crazy.

And, my beautiful niece was on the Homecoming Court.   So proud of her.

That about sums it up.

And here we are on Monday morning.

We moved to a new office last week and today is the first day in our new building.   Unpacking today and getting settled into a new spot. 

Deuces.

nothing

It was yet another tough weekend to be a Hog fan.

52-0.

See also "shellacked"

Waaaahhhhhhh.

Guess it can only get better, right?

*sigh*

The rest of the weekend was kind of uneventful.   Just kind of there.

The Captain put out a trap for The Creature.

With peanut butter in it.

Nothing on Saturday morning  Tripped, but no capture on Sunday morning.

Oh, and Cooper said HE was the one who kicked all the mushrooms on the patio.

So, the adjusted profile is a creature that does not eat mushrooms.  Or peanut butter.

Forecast for today:  100% chance of Monday.  And Rain.  Blech.

Weekend yays and boos

Well, where do I even start with what happened this weekend....

Yays and Boos. 

Jordan's team won second place in their tournament on Saturday!  Yay! Yay!

RIP Ozzy the psycho aquatic frog.  Poor crazy frog. Now, he's in the baggie in the freezer with the other fish that have passed on.  Because if we take the dead fishies back with the receipt, we get our $6.75 back. 

I'm reading a yummy book.  "Gone Girl."  Majorly twisty turny.  Thanks, JuJu for the thumbs up. 

Fall temps showed their face. So so so ready for fall.  More than ever.  Go away 100 degree summer that has lasted six months.

I can't even really talk about the Hogs.  I'm still stunned, sad, and pouting.  Lost the game. Lost our QB, CB, and RB. Lost our College Game Day visit. Lost our ranking. I've lost my marbles.  Waaaahhhhh.   Oh, and this weekend, we take on Bama.  Lovely.

We started painting The Figures' Luxury Condo. 

Alright, people.  That about sums it up.

Now Monday is here.

Hope he plays nice.

Happy Monday

Hooray! Hooray!  It's an extra day at home!!  Let's hear it for Labor Day!

Weekend summary:

One fish casualty.  It was Kane.  RIP Kane.

The other three seem to be doing fine.

And the crazy frog.  Sometimes I think he's dead then other times he is swimming all around.  He's a weirdo.

Remember when I said the Captain and Jordan were on that youth summit and they would be: sleeping in a tent, peeing in a bucket, avoiding snakes, bathing in a pond and probably getting to know Isaac.  
There were no tents. No sleeping bags. No pillows.  No "food".

Ummm, no thanks.

They apparently had to make their own "shelters" from bamboo and tarp.

Fair enough. It was a survival-type weekend.

Until this comes through.

But they survived a rough Friday night.  And an even rougher Saturday night. 

It's never good when the TV weather guy puts a big cone on the exact spot where your people are camped out and talks about 60+ mph winds and rotation and hail and to "take cover immediately"

They got dove and fish. So they ate.  And, hopefully found no snakes.  

Coop and I had a weekend with lots of college football and minimal chores. It was bliss.

And now it's Monday.

The Captain called somebody and got the tree chopped up and hauled off.

Gone.

Bye bye.

All that's left is a hole in my yard.

Poor tree.

Then the Captain got on a plane and went away.

I thought he was going to New Jersey. Or New Zealand.

He went to Minneapolis. 

Same difference.

The rest of the weekend featured the usual. Laundry, naps, books.  Oh, and some yummy pizza.  And wrestling figures.

And some good times with my kids. 

And, here we are.  Monday.

Yippee.

Love. And a little bit of not love.

Guess I'd better snap out of my Olympic coma and go to work.  For at least eight or nine hours....
Love watching the Olympics. 

Love love love.

I was an Olympic sloth.  And by sloth I mean I watched everything.  Including water polo and table tennis. 

Loved the opening ceremony.

Loved the scene with James Bond and the Queen.

Did not love the giant baby.

Loved Ryan Lochte beating Phelps.

Love seeing Ryan Lochte.  Anywhere.

Did not love the US losing in the relay.

Did not love seeing Jordyn cry after losing the spot in the gymnastics individual all around.   And REALLY did not love seeing her in the background while they interviewed Aly.  Awkward.

Loved watching the volleyball.

Did not love having spoilers on Twitter and all over the internets.  May have to avoid during daylight hours.

Love all the stories about the athletes.

OK, going to do some work. 

Then back to the Olympics.

You wouldn't believe it if I told you...

Saturday night.
Went to a wrestling event.
Yes, I'm serious.
It wasn't the big, flashy WWE wrestling events.
Yes, I've been to those.
Yes, I'm serious.
This was kind of a "minor league" wrestling event.
It was basic. Kind of edgy. A little rough.
But Coop knew who the wrestlers were and was so excited.
It was wrestling.
Which we all knows he loves.
LOVES.
I scored some free tickets.
Connections.
Free tickets are always the best tickets.
And off we went.
It was outside.
At the downtown baseball park.
We were allllllmost there.
And the Captain got a call.
They had a "situation" and he had to go in to work.
I made him drop us off.
At the downtown baseball park.
For the basic, edgy, rough wrestling event.
I figured we'd worry about getting a ride home later.
Maybe we'd take a cab.
Jordan flipped out at the thought of that.
Flipped.  Out.
Like it was gonna' be some sort of "Kill Cab" or something.
Death by cabbie.
So we just got settled in and watched the wrestling.
It was  ... interesting.
I was the only one wearing linen pants.
I was one of the only ones who had all my teeth.
I kid.
Kind of.
My favorite part of the night was when a guy in the audience gave a wrestler his prosthetic leg.
And the wrestler pretended to beat the other guy with it.
Yes, I'm serious.
A leg.
Anyway, the Captain finally made it.
I was thankful he was safe after the "situation."
I was thankful he made it to the wrestling event to be with us.
I was thankful he changed out of his seersucker shorts.
No doubt he would have been strung up.
Cooper had a ball.
And that's what counts.
That, and I'm glad the tickets were free.

Hot. Dogs. And Sharpie Eyebrows.

Well, let's see.  What happened this weekend?
Our air conditioner went out Friday afternoon.  It was hot.  But we slept upstairs on the most uncomfortable guest bed ever in the history of guest beds.  And then Mr. Air Conditioner Repair Man came on Saturday and replaced something and then it got cool again. And all the people said amen.

There was also a little incident involving Jordan, a friend-boy, and two mean barking growly stray dogs who surrounded the friend-boy's truck and wouldn't go away.  Jordan couldn't get in the house, so the Captain had to go out there and rescue her.  Armed with a golf club.  

Oh, and then Jordan drew eyebrows on the dog with a Sharpie marker...

"Nobody knows...the trouble I've seen...."

And then the weekend was over.

The end.

Monday morning

Proud to say that the Captain and I came in third out of 19 teams at the Trivia Night.  There were lots of President questions.  I answered Grover Cleveland for all of those.  None of those were ever right.  Poor Grover.  He's never the answer to any trivia questions.

The rest of the weekend featured watching tons of US Open golf.  Good stuff.  If you like that kind of stuff.  We do.

Other happenings....

Earlier in the summer, Cooper put up the Man Cave for a few days.  That has been replaced with a homemade marble run track.  Ramps, paper tracks, tubes.  He's been quite creative.  It's also a fairly decent size and is in the middle of the den floor.  When the ceiling fan is on, it alters the track placement.  Also, a big ol' dog running through the den alters the track placement.   

Jordan's taking Driver's Education this week.

And I'm headed to take a TB test.  More on that tomorrow.  How's that for a tease?

Peace and love.