Deuces.

So here's the deal.
I'm going to work.
And then I'm coming home.
Packing some stuff.
And going to a volleyball tournament.
Then going to the beach.
That's pretty much it.
Of course our tourney location is not really near our beach location.
So, we have a nine hour drive ahead of us upon conclusion of the last match.
Which could be late-thirty.
Erg.
Looks like some tandem driving for me and the Captain.
Maybe we could make Jordan drive too.
She has her driver's permit.
Could be a good chance to get some night time interstate driving hours under her belt while the Captain and I catch some zzzzz's.
I kid.
I may or may not blog next week.
Depends on how functional my brain is.
I'm not expecing much activity up in there.
The beach is truly my happy place.
This will be the first "vacation" that the four of us have ever taken alone.  We've always travelled with family.  So, while I will miss those that we usually travel with, I'm really REALLY looking forward to hanging, resting, and renewing with my peeps.
So, bye-bye my cupcakes.  Play nice while I'm gone.
I'm outta' here!

You wouldn't believe it if I told you...

Saturday night.
Went to a wrestling event.
Yes, I'm serious.
It wasn't the big, flashy WWE wrestling events.
Yes, I've been to those.
Yes, I'm serious.
This was kind of a "minor league" wrestling event.
It was basic. Kind of edgy. A little rough.
But Coop knew who the wrestlers were and was so excited.
It was wrestling.
Which we all knows he loves.
LOVES.
I scored some free tickets.
Connections.
Free tickets are always the best tickets.
And off we went.
It was outside.
At the downtown baseball park.
We were allllllmost there.
And the Captain got a call.
They had a "situation" and he had to go in to work.
I made him drop us off.
At the downtown baseball park.
For the basic, edgy, rough wrestling event.
I figured we'd worry about getting a ride home later.
Maybe we'd take a cab.
Jordan flipped out at the thought of that.
Flipped.  Out.
Like it was gonna' be some sort of "Kill Cab" or something.
Death by cabbie.
So we just got settled in and watched the wrestling.
It was  ... interesting.
I was the only one wearing linen pants.
I was one of the only ones who had all my teeth.
I kid.
Kind of.
My favorite part of the night was when a guy in the audience gave a wrestler his prosthetic leg.
And the wrestler pretended to beat the other guy with it.
Yes, I'm serious.
A leg.
Anyway, the Captain finally made it.
I was thankful he was safe after the "situation."
I was thankful he made it to the wrestling event to be with us.
I was thankful he changed out of his seersucker shorts.
No doubt he would have been strung up.
Cooper had a ball.
And that's what counts.
That, and I'm glad the tickets were free.

We had a ball.

Oh my goodness.  Five days off has made me a complete sloth.  Sloth. 

It's also made me realize I'm allergic to reality.  Ahhhchoooo.

Back to work today.  Blah.  Guess that means clothes and make up and no wild clippy hair.  And shoes.  Oh, the travesty.

We went to the Redbirds game last night.  Always a good time.   We were able to move way down front.  Like Row Three.  Right on top of the visitor dug out.   And Cooper went down there and waved his hands around and their catcher tossed him a ball when they came off the field.

See?

He was thrilled.

No, my son doesn't have purple fingernails. That's Jordan holding the ball. 

And, if you look close, you'll see evidence of her tie-dying activities.

Also, if you look close, you'll see evidence this morning of big dark puffy circles under my eyes since we didn't leave the ball park until about 10:30.  Which got me home waaayyyyy past my bedtime.

OK, people.  More coffee for me right now. Stay cool today. 

Tuesday night review

A recap of the evening at mi casa.
Jordan went to the gym and the Captain was going to pick her up on his way home from work.

Then we found out the Captain was at his mom's house working on his boat.  That was fine.  It's near the gym.

Text from Jordan:  Somebody come get me.

Text from me:  Text your dad.  He's near.

And she waited and waited. 

Then their exchange went something like this:

Hello??  Want me to start walking?

And he apparently said yes. 

Because she started walking.

But then he picked her up part way. No worries.

My dinner was nuts because I really didn't feel like making anything.  Or even thinking of anything.  So we had some pasta.  And pizza bites.  Because they are kind of Italianish so it went along with the theme and I pretended like it was a perfect side dish.

Then I heard Cooper say, "Hey dad, wanna' whittle?"

The Captain told Coop to go find some sticks.

I don't think this is what he had in mind.

They broke off a few small pieces off that tree thing and then they started whittling.  Like Jed and Jethro.

Me and my kindle had grand plans to sit outside with the Clampett boys but those were thwarted by Jordan and a 5 page study guide for an English final exam.

So we reviewed all sorts of poetry terms and fancy things like that.

While she held Gauge in her lap like a baby.

It was ... odd....

Because he usually doesn't like to be held.  Much less cuddled.  And he is ... big. 

Look at these goobers.



Then Cooper started catching sticks on fire with my bug candle.

And I actually said these things out loud:

Do not catch the dog on fire.

Do not catch your sister's hair on fire.

Do not catch the chair cushions on fire.

Then it got dark and we all came inside.    Cooper started asking about how fast cardboard burns.  I may have a problem here....

Then he drug out that geo gami book again. 

So I took a stab at a hexahedron.

Whatever that is....

It only ended up with a little kite looking thing.  I don't think that's a hexahedron.

I told him he can't wait until 9pm to start working on these things.  Because my brain is tired and my eyes don't work.

So we all went to bed.

And I woke up at 3am. And have been awake ever since.

The end.

With love and adventure for all

It's just me and the boy for the next few days.

Jodi and Jordan are off this morning for the annual youth group Adventure Camp trip. Remember that one? They go whitewater rafting, horseback riding, ropes course climbing. All that adventurous stuff.

And, as is custom, Cooper and I will have some adventure of our own which includes sleeping late, tons of reading, playing endless Wii, a whole lotta' lazy, and muchio basketballio.

Oh, and some laundry.

And spring cleaning.

Maybe.

Excited about my few days at home.

With my favorite little guy.

And my kindle.

And my bracket.

Yes.

Texas Bound

By the time you read this, I'll probably be in the car with the Captain, my two kids, the Captain's grandmother, and the Captain's aunt on our 1,000 mile round-trip Great Texas Thanksgiving Adventure.

Other miscellaneous items in the car will be: three bags of M&Ms, a box of CheezIts (Scrabble version for our gaming pleasure), a wheelchair, a walker, two laptops, one DVD player, 467 movies, Christmas presents, and a partridge in a pear tree.

And Jordan may or may not have packed four bags. Four bags. FOUR. I can't confirm, but I think one of them contains only hair products. Apparently beauty has its price.

I'll probably be taking a bloggy break until next Monday. If you want to know what I'm up to, check me out on Twitter for real-time updates of my most exciting life.

So, for your reading pleasure, I present a few things I will and will not do this weekend:

I will not shop on Black Friday.

I will not see Breaking Dawn movie.

I will eat like a pig.

I will talk sports smack with my crazed LSU fan brother-in-law and my converted LSU fan sister-in-law.

I will celebrate a mighty HOG victory.

I will not call the Hogs so loud that it wakes up baby Kennedy.

I will enjoy being with my family.

I will miss my other family (Mom, Connie.... Mom's dressing.... )

I will watch football until I'm comatose.

I will not say I told you so when we are stuck for three hours on the Arkansas interstate due to construction.

I will be thankful.

I am thankful for all of you, my little cupcakes, and am happy that you come here every day and read all this blah blah blah stuff.

Hope you all have a blessing-counting, thanks-giving, food-eating, family-loving, football-watching kind of day.

WWEeeeeeee!

Yes, Saturday night we went to WWE.

And Cooper has not. stopped. talking. about it.

I'll admit, it was quite entertaining. Talk about a tremendous people watching opportunity.

Lots to see.

And, as an added bonus, those wrestler fellas are quite .... fit.

Our seats were pretty dern good. We were two rows behind the "you'll get sweat flung on you and maybe get hit with a chair" section.

It was two and a half hours of headlocks, powerslams, and pile drivers.

With Cooper jumping up and down screaming the entire time.

And occasionally saying, "THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE!"

He took a friend with him. And if one nine-year old boy screaming "DUDE! THAT WAS AWESOME!" all night long is nice, then it's only twice as nice when it's two nine-year old boys screaming "DUDE! THAT WAS AWESOME!" They were cute little goobers. Double your goober, double your fun.

Coop has become quite fond of Kelly Kelly. Who is a "wrestling Diva". Enough said.

On the way home he was talking about her - how pretty she was, blah blah blah. And I made the comment that Kelly Kelly should cover her Belly Belly and all her other body parts that were ... ummm ... significantly visible.

And Cooper said, "Well the guys only have on little tighties. So what's the difference?"

Tush.

I mean, Touche.

But that's different.

Because he's a nine year old boy who doesn't need to be looking at Kelly Kelly's Belly Belly.

And I'm a *cough cough* year old woman who can check out C.M. Punk's butt if she wants to.

He's just so beyond totally obsessed with wrestling right now. And by totally obsessed, I mean he's either watching it on TV, playing it on Wii, playing with his figures, or watching you tube videos of matches and intro music. So to see it in real life just put him over the nine year old edge.

It was a fun night. Fun watching all the chokeholds. Fun watching C.M. Punk's butt. Fun watching all the people. But especially fun watching Coop have such a good time.

Alrighty people. I'm off to practice my half-nelsons. Pack a lunch box or two. And take on this day.

Peace out. And Knock Out.

Awkward times a thousand

So Saturday we went to the Captain's family reunion thingy. Well, it was really a high school graduation party for (stay with me) the Captain's mother's cousin's kid's kid. Anyhoo, it was in SmallTown, Missouri.

And the day was filled with awkwardness. Including, but not limited to, these events:

Apparently I get carsick when I ride on the 3rd row of an SUV barrelling down the bumpy interstate. Who knew?

I called somebody a grandmother when she was really an aunt.

A man changed a baby's diaper - TWICE - on the dinner table.

In attendance was a woman wearing a shirt with a bedazzled frog on it.

They turned off the lights and turned on the disco ball at 3pm.

Somebody thought I was the Captain's daughter.

And, Jordan told 104,967 people, "Yes, I'm tall. Yes, I'm only 14."

Other than that, it was a fine day.

In other news, my newborn baby starts fourth grade today. How on earth did that happen?

Jordan doesn't start until tomorrow and will spend her last day of summer at a PT appointment, volleyball practice, and finishing up that Day Before School Starts Summer Reading.

Back to School. Bring it.

Wrong way

So yesterday was yet another exciting day at the Casa de Angie128. And by exciting, I mean I was off work again and spent the day playing Mario Kart, eating Cheez-Its, and introducing Cooper into that fine summer tradition known as Required Summer Reading.

He has to read "Sounder". I don't recall having to read that one. And I'm pretty sure it's a sad animal story - as in Sounder goes to Dog Heaven. No like.

Cooper successfully made it through Chapter 1 - WOOT! Small victories, people.

I am not having many victories in the Mario Kart arena. For some reason, my Kart always gets turned around and I end up going the wrong way around the track.

And it plays out something like this....

The Captain screams "YOU'RE GOING THE WRONG WAY!"

And I say, "NO I'M NOT!"

And he says, "DON'T YOU SEE THOSE ALL THOSE ARROWS SAYING TURN AROUND?!?!?"

Well, OBVIOUSLY I didn't or I wouldn't have been going the wrong way.

Humph.

No Mario Kart, Man Cave or Summer Reading for me until tonight. I'm headed to that place called Work.

Ciao!

A spicy day

Well, I'm off work again today which makes me happy.

Yesterday, Cooper and I managed to play Wii almost allll day. And we may or may not have stayed in our pajamas all day long.

Oh, and we cleaned out the spice cabinet.

Yes, it was a very big, BIG day.

I am still curious about the fennel I found in my cabinet.

Fennel? What on earth is that? Why would I have bought it or used it?

I'm clueless.

I'm also the owner of four jars of oregano and every form of garlic you can imagine: garlic powder, garlic salt, garlic & onion, garlic & herb. The list goes on.

I'm sure today holds a lot more Wii. And some good times with my favorite nine year old. But it sure won't be as spicy.

Icky weekend

Well, you can add 51 episodes of Billy the Exterminator and the completion of all episodes of Drake & Josh to the list of Recently Viewed Netfix Shows. That's on top of, as you'll remember, 96 episodes of Mindfreak.

Ever seen that Exterminator show? I've had my share of icky things over the last few days. Snakes and roaches and rats. Oh my.

And gators. The Exterminator Guy catches gators too.

And if I didn't get enough gators from the exterminator show, there's another show allll about gators.

The Captain and Coop are also tackling Swamp People. Which is apparently about some folks in Louisiana who hunt gators. And the people are slightly difficult to understand, what with their heavy Cajun accent and all. It's a train wreck people. I can't tear myself away from it. But I can't bear to watch it. All I know is, every once in awhile, The Captain and Cooper will yell - in their best Cajun voice - "Choot em! Choot em!!" Which is apparently Cajun Gator Hunt talk for Shoot Him referencing said gator. And it's apparently a huge part of the show and a legit thing. Because I found this.

Sadly for the Captain and Cooper, there is only one season of Swamp People available on Netflix. Looks like our days of gator hunting are short-lived.

So, Netflix.... It's keeping my family entertained these days. $7.99 a month. Actually, we might still be in our two week free trial. Yeah, I'd say we're getting our money's worth. In an ick kind of way.

Be jealous of my exciting life.

Happy Monday. Peace out people.

Memorial Day Magic

So we got Netflix.

I know, I know. We're probably the last folks on the planet not to have it.

It is pretty cool.

It has changed our life.

Well, that's kind of an extreme statement.

Maybe not CHANGED our life, but sure has added a nice element.

Movies and TV shows - old and new - available instantly.

Personally, I'm beyond excited that I found seven seasons of Emergency. Yes, Squad 51. Connie and I used to watch that all the time. Paramedic Johnny Gage. Yes. Good times, people. Good times.

Cooper has found Mindfreak.

He loves Mindfreak.

Obsessed with it.

As in, thinking he can make himself levitate and make the dog disappear.

I'm hoping he can make some of this laundry disappear too.

There are 96 episodes available.

He's on episode 41.

That is what we'll be doing today.

Plowing through 20 more episodes of Mindfreak.

Jordan is at the lake with friends riding around on a boat getting her tan on.

The Captain is on a trip with a church group camping in the great outdoors.

Coop and I will be watching Mindfreak.

Unless I can convince him to watch Columbo or Cosby Show or Hawaii Five-Oh.

We'll be eating leftover grilled porkchops.

Not very Memorial Day-ish.

But I'm so happy to be home with my smallest guy today.

And I'm thankful for those who have served our country and who continue to do so.

So go forth, people, and enjoy your day.

PS - If I could ask you to pray for my bestie friend, Bingmama. She lost her dad yesterday. And that makes me very sad.

WHAT DID YOU SAY?!?!

I hope your Christmas was merry and bright.

Ours was definitely merry and bright.

And loud.

Cooper got a drum set.

I SAID, COOPER GOT A DRUM SET.

He's proud.

And it's loud.

And I guess that's the reason almost all of my fourteen lunch guests left right after dessert on Christmas Day.

Bah-dah-bing.

No, literally.

He plays bah-dah-bing after everything anybody says.

In addition to the continuous percussion, our long Christmas weekend was most excellent.

There was lots of eating of food and watching of football and playing of games. Pure bliss.

And maybe and maybe not, Connie and I did a round of Just Dance on the Wii. I thought I was going to go into cardiac arrest and we were going to have a visit from the paramedics on Christmas which would have certainly ranked up there as one of the most memorable Christmases ever. "Remember the year that the ambulance came....". I'm just glad there is no video evidence of us attempting to Walk Like an Egyptian because there really isn't much groove left in my thing. Jordan and Niece M...now that's another story. And I'm still wondering where those sweet, lovely, teenage girls learned to shake like that.....must be from their father's sides of the family.

Today, Jordan is having her widsom teeth taken out. I'm hoping all that is pretty uneventful and a few ice bags and pain meds will get her through the next few days.

Speaking of the next few days, It's the Most Wonderful Time of the Year...... COLLEGE BOWL TIME!!! Can I have a big amen?!? I love, love, love it.

Alrighty, people. I'm going to eat another cinnamon roll and play WipeOut on the Wii with Cooper. Happy Whatever Today Is.

The weekend. Numbered list style.

All of these things happened during our trip to Houston...

1. Our flight was cancelled on Thursday and we spent the night in Little Rock and flew out at 6am on Friday morning.

2. At the hotel, Cooper was obsessed with these...

3. And enthralled with this....

4. A crystal ball Christmas ornament I was carrying in my bag (a gift from my MIL to one of the Texas family peeps) got my bags searched.

5. The Captain's sister received her degree in culinary arts.

6. There was a nice graduation dinner at a schamancy restaurant.

7. After the server told us the specials, Cooper hollered at me across the table, "Did you hear THAT?!? That steak is FORTY-TWO NINETY-FIVE!!!!"

8. The Captain's chef sister did not cook for us over the weekend. Nor would she show off any of her knife skills.

9. The Captain's nurse sister made a delicious dinner for us on Saturday. And made some other yummy things for us throughout the weekend.

10. Cooper was sick after eating at the schamancy restaurant. Nothing like being awakened at 4:30 in the morning to the sound of puking.

11. I told him I thought he had a bout of food poisoning. He later told the Captain that, "Somebody poisoned his food."

12. Jordan brought all these with her...

13. There is an apparent price for beauty.

14. She also doesn't understand the phrase "travel size".

15. We went to church with the Captain's nurse sister and her husband. They were having a children's Christmas pageant. Little Mary tossed infant Jesus into the manger. Then, decided to prop him up a little so everybody could see him. That is when he decided to flip over the side of the manger. The whole church gasped. Thankfully, Little Joseph stepped up and saved the infant Jesus from cracking his head open on the stage.

16. I successfully managed to pack a Justin Beiber poster and a ceramic cross which both made it safely back to Memphis without damage.

17. The weekend was great. Really, REALLY a nice, NICE time. Well, except for the twelve hours of puking.

And now it's Christmas week! Say WOOOO-HOOOOO, people!

I'm home all week with my kids. I see wrapping, cooking, and Wii-ing (is that a word?) in my future.

And thus it begins...

As of today, I'm off work until the Tuesday after Christmas. I'm so excited! {clapping hands with glee}

And today, we are headed to Houston.

Via Dallas.

Via Little Rock.

It's gonna' be like an episode of Amazing Race.

Drive.

Then fly.

Then fly.

I'm wondering if there will be a pat-down in there somewhere.

Erg. I hope not.

Unless it involves the Captain.

Oh, excuse me. I forget this is a PG-rated blog.

Never mind.

Let me get back on track.

We are going to Houston for the Captain's sister's graduation from culinary school.

I'm expecting to eat lots of yummy food this weekend. Surely all these graduates will show us what they've been studying and whip something up for us.

We're also celebrating our Christmas with all the rest of the Captain's Texas fam.

So we have to pack gifts too. All the gifts I bought for them are no larger than 4"x4". Matchbox cars for everybody! Not really. But even lots of small gifts end up taking lots of space in one's suitcase.

And I don't fly too much anymore, so I'm not really good at "minimal packing". I am hoping to pull off mixing and matching at its finest. I may just end up wearing my Christmas tree pajama pants the whole weekend. Surely they won't care. And maybe the newly graduated chefs will think it's parsley or endive or something on my pants.

Oh, by the way, if there are any house robbers reading my blog, don't get any big ideas about breaking in my house and stealing all the Christmas gifts under my tree. The Captain has arranged for the SWAT team to house-sit for us. Be afraid. And stay away.

Alrighty, people. Have a nice day. Y'all play nice while I'm gone.

A look back and a look ahead

How was your weekend my people? We really had a nice one. Long and full. Filled with family and friends and grilled hamburgers and laundry. Other highlights from the weekend go something like this....

Friday night I went on a real live date with the Captain. We had a yummy dinner at a little seafood place where I had the best shrimp and grits. Then we went shopping for socks and books. How romantic.

Jordan had a friend-boy in town for the day on Saturday. And thus it begins....

We played a new board game. You have to do all this random crazy stuff. During her turn, Jordan had to repeat everything twice for about 15 minutes. During her turn, Jordan had to repeat everything twice for about 15 minutes. It was the funniest thing. It was the funniest thing. I laughed so hard. I laughed so hard.

(Did I ever tell you I wet my pants once while we were playing Apples to Apples cause I was laughing so hard? Oh, I didn't? OK then. Forget it. Move along people. Nothing to see here....)

Cooper's turn required him to write a poem about his arm pit. It went something like this:

It has a hair on it.

I put Axe on it.

It stinks.

Yep, that about sums it up.

Did anybody else catch the Cardinals-Mets game? Yes, the one that went to TWENTY INNINGS. Yes, the one that used 19 pitchers including a shortstop and an outfielder. It was nuts.

And Cooper went 0-2 on Saturday at his game. Boo. But he looks so stinking cute wearing all that catcher's gear.

Last week the Captain was in a meeting -- and sat right beside -- a guy I dated for awhile when the Captain and I were on the skits. The Captain knows I dated him. Not sure the guy knows that the Captain is married to me. Hmmm. I think that's all I'm going to say about that.

In other news, I found out last night at 9:30 that we were out of coffee. I scrounged around and managed to find a little packet of instant something or other that is pretending to be coffee. It is doing a very poor job. This is very bad.

Somebody played a 155 point word on me in Words with Friends. That also was very bad. I started crying so hard I don't even remember what the word was.

Today I am really looking forward to setting up for an all day expo tomorrow. By "set up" I mean lug boxes of pens and brochures from my car to the convention hall. In the rain. I can't wait. By "all day expo" I mean sit at my little booth (ALL DAY) and pass out pens and brochures to people who don't have anything else to do but come to the expo looking for free stuff like pens and brochures.

For those keeping score at home, we have three days until Bingmama and I are headed to Nashville to see Bon Jovi. And that, my pretties, will be a most excellent road trip. And I'm beyond certain there will some significant blog fodder come from this little experience.

It's gonna' be a very busy week. Crazy few days at work. And lots to do on the home-front. The Captain is headed out of town this week too. But he's not going to see Jon and Richie like we are. He's going to hang out at some K-9 convention or something. Woof.

And with that, I'm going to find some REAL coffee.

Or, as Jordan would say, Have a good day. Have a good day.

It was a par-ty

The Captain and Cooper hit the links last week.

Check out this future super-star.....
I love it.

The stance....

The approach....

The outfit.....

The shoes....

And the SpongeBob SquarePants golf ball.....




And how about picture....

Me: "Cooper, I love the picture of you down on your knee checking out the hole."

Cooper: "Mooommmm, that's called reading the green."


FORE!!

Have a good day people.

Thriller. Chiller.

Saturday night.

Liberty Bowl.

Arkansas Razorbacks.

Victorious in overtime.

Wooooo Pig Soooooie!

We had a ball!

We also froze our patooties off.

It was cold. No, seriously. It was stinking cold. Like temperatures in the 20's cold.

I had on 18 layers of clothes. I used about 23 hand warmers. I had those babies stuck just about everywhere I could stick 'em.

But my toes froze. Froze toes. I still can't feel my feet.

It was my kids' first "real" football game - other than a high school game. Cooper asked where the yellow line on the field was. Ummmm, that's just on TV kid.

Poor kicker for ECU. Missed two FG's in the last minute to win. Then he had another shot in OT. No go. Felt sad for him. Jordan was kind of hoping he'd pull one of them off in regulation so we could go home. Even though she didn't want the Hogs to lose. Girl was shivering.

And in the end, the Hogs pulled it off.

I was jumping up and down. Partly because I was excited. Partly because I was freezing.

Did I mention it was cold?

Yes, that's me under all of that....

C-h-e-a-t-e-r

We played a nice little competitive game of Sequence the other night. Boys vs. Girls.
Cooper was trying very hard to let the Captain know what cards he had in his hand so they could complete the perfect sequence. Yes, boy can be a cheater...

Finally Cooper says (in his loudest whisper),
"Dad! L-o-o-k u-n-d-e-r t-h-e t-a-b-l-e."

To which Jordan replied,
"Cooper, we can hear you. And we can spell."

Good times people. Good times.

Here's Cooper pointing out the Boys' Winning Sequence...
(Man, those diagonal ones get me every time....)

Yes, he has on SpongeBob SquarePants pajamas. He *loves* those things. But I still wonder why on earth did I buy those? I hate SpongeBob. I don't get it. He's a sponge. That wears pants. And lives in a pineapple. Under the sea. Makes no sense.

I'll pass on the reality but thanks anyway

We are back from a great week at the beach. I am happy and rested and tan.

And now it is time for me to sing that little ditty called "Facing Reality after a Week Long Vacation at the Beach Really Stinks".

It is back to work for me today which stinks. The poor Captain had to work yesterday which stinks even more. The kids get one more day off which just makes them stinkers.

Here are some things I learned while on my vaca at the beach:

• You can get very, very sunburned when it is very, very cloudy.

• If you sit on the beach for an entire day and read a book, you get white marks on your neck from where you held your head down.

• Teens & tweens still need to be connected to their social world outside of their vaca world.

• Adults have no desire to be connected to their social world outside of their vaca world.

• I can laugh so hard that I will pee in my pants.

• If my son eats too much greasy food too fast, he will puke.

• We are addicted to college football.

• It is possible to become so disconnected that you really do not know what day it is.

• I am very good at doing absolutely nothing.
  

OK people, I must forge ahead and head to work. But let the record show I am not in favor of it.

PS -- I may or may not have my bathing suit on under my clothes.