Why do we say Happy 4th of July?
The 4th of July.
We've even dropped July and shortened it to "The 4th"
Its name is Independence Day.
We don't say Merry 25th of December.
Merry 25th.
Happy 14th of February, honey. I love you.
So why has this day lost its name?
I don't get it.
Peeve.
So, yeah, we were out of town for a volleyball tournament this weekend. (See also: What else is new)
Checking in to the hotel Friday night I found out there was a ghost hunting group there also.
Wait, Mr. Front Desk Guy - before you check me in - I need a little more info.
The hotel was built in 1929 and had been vacant for over 40 years before it was renovated a few years ago. And so the story goes.... the place is haunted. And the ghosts make most of their appearances around Valentine's Day.
Humph.
I heard no bumps in the night.
All I heard was the sound of my three people snoring.
Had some great volleyball this weekend. Only lost one match all weekend and the girls ended up with finishing third out of 12 teams. Jordan did well and her thumb didn't seem to be bothering her at all. Especially since she was taped up like a mummy.
We played a team from Louisiana. They had a Barbie voodoo doll. Complete with what appeared to be chicken feathers all over it. They would shake it at the teams. I didn't ask them about it for fear they would shake it at me.
Anyway, it was great weekend. Ghost hunters, voodoo dolls, and all.
And there's some winter weather headed our way today.
Peace out.
I love having debates with the Captain. Nothing like a little intense fellowship with that guy. And our topics are all over the place.
Here are a few things the Captain and I have debated in the last few days:
> How many miles it is across the entire US
> How many miles it is from the earth to the moon
> The special role of the coffee filter basket and how important it is to treat it gently
> The proper way to eat M & Ms
> The appropriateness of giving doggies biscuits unconditionally
> What years did Shakespeare live
In other news, apparently an asteroid is hitting the earth this afternoon at 5:30. That's right in the middle of a big press conference I'm doing that may or may not include two NBA stars. And while those media folk are hard to figure out sometimes, I'm pretty sure an asteroid hitting the earth will garner more press than my youth sports facility announcement.
And, for the record, the Captain is nowhere concerned about the asteroid hitting the earth. When he left this morning, I kissed him goodbye and told him it's been fun being his wife, but an asteroid would be hitting the earth before we all arrived back home tonight so this was pretty much the end. Then he gave me that look. Yeah, the "I wish I had never asked you out the second time" look.
So, if the big ol' humongous asteroid blows the Earth up, I just want to say thanks for being faithful readers of my blog. I love you all. Have a good life.
But, if I survive the press conference and the Earth remains intact, then I'll see you tomorrow.
During a conversation at work yesterday I mentioned I needed to get some money from the beeper. That comment drew some odd looks. Now, while it is certainly not unusual for me to get odd looks when I say things, I discovered that apparently I'm the only one that uses the word "beeper" for this particular thing.
I must confess ...
I've never seen a Harry Potter movie.
Not one.
Ever.
Do you still love me?
And tonight at midnight is the premier of the last ever Harry Potter movie.
Is it the last one?
I don't even know.
Nor do I really care.
Jordan is going with some friends.
No, I'm not taking her.
Or picking her up.
Some other suckers really great moms are taking a group of teens.
Jordan is spending the night with some gals.
So I don't even have to stay up for her, and I can proceed with my most boring exciting evening plans of watching some ridiculous Sasquatch show with the Captain and then going to bed by 8:30 pm.
I don't get out much.
That's why I've never seen Harry Potter.
And I'm really ok with that.
Have a nice day.
Love,
Mamaw
Happy Independence Day.
I hate calling it Fourth of July.
Why do we do that?
We don't say Merry 25th of December.
Or Happy 14th of February.
So why does this holiday not get to use its real name?
Doesn't make any sense.
It's those kind of things that keep me up at night.
Oh well.
The Captain has to work today. But hopefully will be off duty before all the wild shenanigans start.
Spending some time with friends tonight.
Which I'm sure will involve something grilled.
And some laughs.
In the meantime, I'll be cleaning up this place.
Which has been overrun with WWE action figures and Wii remotes.
Peace out people.
Happy Independence Day.
So, you know things have taken a desperate turn for the worse on your blog when you start putting pictures of dogs sitting in patio chairs....
And cats sitting in pink umbrellas...
These pictures depict just another day at my friend Bingmama's house....
Starring:
Kirby, the Dog
&
Bud, the Cat
Well, the Earth didn't go up in flames this weekend.
Nor did I end up in The Pokie.
Not yet anyway.
I didn't get my new car.
I'm wondering if Rico skipped town.
But I'm sure it will all work out ok and I'll be in my new ride soon. I guess...
So today 75% of my household is off work or school for President's Day.
Yes, I am the 25%.
So what's up with today? We honor the Presidents?
I can't bring up the Presidents with the Captain right now because last week we were watching Pawn Stars and this guy had a book signed by James Smith.
And I said, "Who is James Smith?"
And the Captain said, "Ummm, he was one of the signers of the Declaration of Independence."
And then I said (and here is where our convo kind of went south...), "I thought only Presidents signed the Declaration of Independence."
And then I got really scared because I thought the Captain was having a seizure or episode or something because his eyes kind of rolled up in his head and he started talking incoherently.
And I was about to call 911 but then I realized he was actually saying things like, "How can she be so smart and be so dumb?" mixed with "Why did I ask her out that second time?" and a little bit of "Surely she's not serious."
But I pretended like he said, "Life with her is so entertaining." and "Man, I love that girl." and "She is just so darn cute."
Yeah, I'm sure that's he said....
So I didn't call 911.
Then we had an intense discussion about who signed the Declaration of Independence and when it all happened and the whole 1776 stuff and all that other blah blah blah stuff.
And he was just so serious about it. And had all these.....facts.
And every once in awhile I could hear Jordan hollering from her room, "John Hancock! John Hancock!" Whatever that means.
And I kind of had a flashback to Miss Smith's 8th grade American History class.
The whole experience was just so upsetting.
Seriously, who needs all that history stuff? It's all so....past.
And our conversation kind of ended when I asked if Benjamin Franklin was a President.
I mean, he's on the twenty isn't he? No wait, it's the hundred.
Can you be on a dollar bill if you weren't a President?
Ohhhhhh.....
So then I pretended like I heard Cooper calling me from the other room and I ran out of the den saying, "Mommy's coming, Baby!"
And I may or may not have Googled, "Was Benjamin Franklin a President?" and "Who is on the twenty dollar bill?"
So, today while you celebrate President's Day, do NOT include Benjamin Franklin in that list. He is NOT to be celebrated today.
But have a good day anyway.
Two hot things happening right now.
My new car didn't come in yesterday. Boo.
Something about the guy and the other guy and the delivery and waiting on "the call" and then arranging the meeting.
I'm not real sure what that's all about.
But the Captain assures me it's all on the up and up.
Even though I am now starting to worry if the car is stolen.
Great, a hot car.
Just what I need.
Because it sounds like he is supposed to meet some guy named Rico behind a warehouse over on Watkins and use some sort of code word and bring unmarked bills in a brown lunch sack.
And personally, I think that would be an issue for a cop's wife to drive a stolen car.
And I sure don't want to go to prison. Because while the whole jumpsuit concept is appeal for concealing figure flaws, orange isn't a good color for me.
But the Captain assures me it is not stolen and it doesn't involve Rico or a code word or unmarked bills.
Humph.
In other hot happening news, there is apparently some big solar flare thing happening. They said it was a "solar coronal mass ejection that hits the Earth on Friday". Ummmm, HELLO PEOPLE that's today. And I don't know about you, but whenever I hear that there is a "plasma bullet blasting toward our planet at 560 miles a second", I get a little unnerved. And if you will note, they are saying it is headed straight to EARTH, not like "take cover Topeka" or anything.
I have expressed my concern to the Captain who showed not the slightest bit of concern at all. And maybe it is hard to take me seriously when I stand in front of him jumping up and down screaming, "A FIRE BALL IS HEADED RIGHT TO EARTH!!!!!". But still...I remain concerned about experiencing permanent blindness or having all my hair burned off.
So, just in case the car is stolen and I get sold down the river and spend the rest of my days laptopless in the pen OR if the big ol' humongous fireball blows the Earth up, I just want to say thanks for being faithful readers of my blog. I love you all. Have a good life.
But, if I don't get arrested and the Earth remains intact, then have a good weekend. And I'll see you Monday.
The 18 year old son of our youth minister has been diagnosed with a malignant brain tumor.
Please pray for Nick.
Have these taken over your house?
They are SillyBandz. And that's what they are. Silly. Bands.
They are little rubber band bracelets. Shaped like different things. For all of you Children of the 80's, think Jelly Bands ala Madonna and Cindy Lauper. But in shapes.
Kids now are collecting them. And trading them. And wearing them. Wearing all of them. Wearing all of them that they own. All 79 of them. At once. Rumor has it that Davis in Mrs. K's class at school has them going from his wrist all the way up his forearm past his elbow! I cannot confirm or deny that current urban legend that is being talked about in the school cafeteria.
I did see a 50-ish woman at Target last week wearing about 10 of them. I stared at her.
I don't even know where you can get them. The Captain's mother bought some for Cooper. The rest he has wheeled and dealed to secure. And I think they also multiply on his arms overnight.
Cooper says these are currently the most popular ones for trading...the cross, the dove, the person, and the "flying deer" (also known as a reindeer I believe)
My bestie Bingmama and I are season subscribers to the theatre. Doesn't that sound impressive? So every few months, when a new show comes to town, we're off for our girls night.
That night happened to be Tuesday. And the show happened to be Wizard of Oz.
Now, I've got nothing against Wizard of Oz. But if it were not part of our little package thing, I probably wouldn't go see it. Cause, I've seen it. Fifty thousand tmies. But nonetheless, it was part of our package. So off we went. And we both were thinking it would be a pretty predictable night.
Boy were we wrong.
Because while we were there....
.... a drunk man got into a fight with another guy seated near him who had told him repeatedly to be quiet. (Yes, there was a DRUNK guy getting in a FIGHT at WIZARD OF OZ.) Mr. Drunk Dude was then shown the door by Big Bouncer Theatre Security Man. However, he wasn't leaving without a little show of his own. And he was M-A-D people. Mr. D.D. proceeded to cuss a blue streak. Actually, what's worse than a blue streak? Cause that's what he did. Loud. Bad Words. Bad, bad, bad words. Not that there is a scale for cuss words. Cause a cuss word is a cuss word. But this guy used the biggest and baddest cuss words around. And I think even threw in a few that I had never heard before. Seriously people. This is the WIZARD OF OZ. And Dude gets kicked out. Of the fancy theatre. All this happened right about the time the Cowardly Lion joined Dorothy and the others to head to Oz. So they were off to see the Wizard. And Mr. Drunk Dude was off to kick somebody's something or other.
.... the couple sitting beside me were eating Skittles and making out. Again, this is the WIZARD OF OZ. It was totally bizarre.
.... dude at the end of our row had on Carhartt overalls. I've got nothing against Carhartt overalls. Or even overalls in general. But I think they have their place. Like on a farm. Did I mention this is a very nice, beautiful, historic, theatre? Overalls. Oh - and a ball cap.
.... the old man that was sitting about three rows in front of us began to pick up a two-way radio through his hearing aids. So he had a convo between two women coming out of his head.
.... the little girl in front of us apparently had a little tummy ache and kept getting up and down to go to the bathroom. But her quite large daddy wouldn't get up so they could get out and they had to crawl over. And I was very worried there for a second that little girl was going to puke all over Row M Seat 201.
.... Oh and there was a service dog. Who appeared to be very sweet. And big. And old. And the woman appeared to be able to see. And hear. So I'm not sure what his service was. But he did have on one of those official service dog vesty things so I'm sure he was legit. However, remember there was also a real live little puppy dog named Dusty playing Toto. So I did have to wonder if the big service dog was just PRETENDING to be a service dog so he could get in to see Toto (aka Dusty). And it also made me wonder how many times there have been TWO real live dogs in the theatre.
When I got home and was telling the Captain and the Bloggie Doggie all about my exciting adventure, the Bloggie Doggie decided that HE would like to audition for the part of Toto. I told him that he's big and white. And Toto is small and black. But he felt like could wear a costume and pull that off. But I'm not sure how he'd fit in that basket. He is, however, very excited about the opportunity to audition and he won't quit talking about it. See? Here's his headshot.
Actually I guess that's just a shot of his head...
OK, this post has gone south fast and it's long and you're probably not even reading anymore. so I'm off.
Not to see the Wizard.
I'm off to work.
But tomorrow, I'm OFF WORK.
Until after Christmas.
And that is excellent.
Because we all know....
There's no place like home.
Sorry, couldn't resist that.
Peace out people.
We played a nice little competitive game of Sequence the other night. Boys vs. Girls. 
Cooper was trying very hard to let the Captain know what cards he had in his hand so they could complete the perfect sequence. Yes, boy can be a cheater...
Finally Cooper says (in his loudest whisper),
"Dad! L-o-o-k u-n-d-e-r t-h-e t-a-b-l-e."
To which Jordan replied,
"Cooper, we can hear you. And we can spell."
Good times people. Good times.
Here's Cooper pointing out the Boys' Winning Sequence...
(Man, those diagonal ones get me every time....)
Yes I have a skeleton hanging on my entertainment center for Halloween. Doesn't everybody? Oh, they don't?
And he laughs his head off at this. Because when you are a 7 year old boy, this is hilarious.
I have decided that I hate the phrase "It's a good problem to have."
The word problem by definition means: any question or matter involving doubt, uncertainty, or difficulty
Why would any of those things be GOOD?
Because a problem is....a problem.
There is nothing good about that.
Maybe we should say "It's a good opportunity." or "What a challenge."
I hereby veto that phrase forever more.
The end.
I like bacon.
I like to eat bacon.
I do not, however, want to TASTE like bacon.....
Nor do I want the Captain to THINK of bacon when he is kissing me.....
I will not be buying any of this......
"Now you can make yourself taste like bacon! A great stocking stuffer, J & D's Bacon Flavored Lip Balm will keep your lips from chapping while constantly reminding you why bacon is the king of meats."
If anybody out there does want to taste like bacon, you can order your own personal bacon flavored lip balm right here.
I think I'll pass.
Have you seen the hand wipey dispenser things that the grocery stores have by their buggies? So you can wipe off the germy handles? Seen those? I am a very big fan of those things. And yes, I use them. Cause I'm a germaphobe. And you never know what people have been touching, scratching, picking or wiping before they touched the buggy handle. EWWWWWW. Besides, I will never pass up an opportunity to use a hand wipey or some hanitizer. Cause I'm a germaphobe. Did I mention that already? I did? OK, sorry. Moving along.....
So when I'm at the grocery, I will use the wipey to wipe my hands. And the buggy handle.
But the other night at Kroger I witnessed a very odd thing.
There was a guy who had gotten his buggy. OK.
And he got a wipey. OK.
And proceeded to wipe his........wait for it.....
....his......legs......
......and his......arms.....
Seriously people. Dude was giving himself a sponge bath in the entrance of the Kroger. With the cart handle wipey thing.
Like all over his legs and arms. Wipe. Wipe. Wipe.
I literally stopped. And stared.
And I may have chuckled out loud.
Cause it was totally bizarre.
And I think that behavior far surpasses my OCD Germaphobism. Just sayin.
Remember when I said I found a bar of soap in the desk drawer in Cooper's room?
Check out what I found in the cup holder of his booster seat....
