I declare.

Well, the Earth didn't go up in flames this weekend.

Nor did I end up in The Pokie.

Not yet anyway.

I didn't get my new car.

I'm wondering if Rico skipped town.

But I'm sure it will all work out ok and I'll be in my new ride soon. I guess...

So today 75% of my household is off work or school for President's Day.

Yes, I am the 25%.

So what's up with today? We honor the Presidents?

I can't bring up the Presidents with the Captain right now because last week we were watching Pawn Stars and this guy had a book signed by James Smith.

And I said, "Who is James Smith?"

And the Captain said, "Ummm, he was one of the signers of the Declaration of Independence."

And then I said (and here is where our convo kind of went south...), "I thought only Presidents signed the Declaration of Independence."

And then I got really scared because I thought the Captain was having a seizure or episode or something because his eyes kind of rolled up in his head and he started talking incoherently.

And I was about to call 911 but then I realized he was actually saying things like, "How can she be so smart and be so dumb?" mixed with "Why did I ask her out that second time?" and a little bit of "Surely she's not serious."

But I pretended like he said, "Life with her is so entertaining." and "Man, I love that girl." and "She is just so darn cute."

Yeah, I'm sure that's he said....

So I didn't call 911.

Then we had an intense discussion about who signed the Declaration of Independence and when it all happened and the whole 1776 stuff and all that other blah blah blah stuff.

And he was just so serious about it. And had all these.....facts.

And every once in awhile I could hear Jordan hollering from her room, "John Hancock! John Hancock!" Whatever that means.

And I kind of had a flashback to Miss Smith's 8th grade American History class.

The whole experience was just so upsetting.

Seriously, who needs all that history stuff? It's all so....past.

And our conversation kind of ended when I asked if Benjamin Franklin was a President.

I mean, he's on the twenty isn't he? No wait, it's the hundred.

Can you be on a dollar bill if you weren't a President?

Ohhhhhh.....

So then I pretended like I heard Cooper calling me from the other room and I ran out of the den saying, "Mommy's coming, Baby!"

And I may or may not have Googled, "Was Benjamin Franklin a President?" and "Who is on the twenty dollar bill?"

So, today while you celebrate President's Day, do NOT include Benjamin Franklin in that list. He is NOT to be celebrated today.

But have a good day anyway.