If... Then...

If I can:

Get Gauge a reservation at the puppy motel
Find somebody to feed our fish
Reschedule my hair cut appointment
Get a replacement teacher for my Bible class
Get an approved day off
And accomplish a few other random chores

Then....

We head down to the beach tomorrow night after Jordan's game.

For two days.

Becasue two days at the beach is better than no days at the beach.

And we could all use a break

From the studying
and the volleyball
and the schedule
and the pace
and the current struggle of helping a teenage girl channel through life
and reality

So, that would be nice.

Me and and the beach and some books and my people.

That's all I need.

Oh, and some coffee.  And a little football.

Survived.

This weekend I...

...drove 700 miles round trip in 48 hours

...and slept on a hotel room pull out sofa bed

...two nights in a row

...with my sister

...and then spent two days watching volleyball

...including Jordan's team not winning a single match

...and watching Jordan go down on her ankle

...during warm-ups

...and not even playing part of the tournament

...(elevate, ice, anti-inflam, elevate, ice, anti-inflam)

...but then we got to celebrate Niece M's overall win for her age division -- WOO WOO!! {HIGH FIVE}

...and, all in all, we had fun

...and I survived my first club ball tournament

...I guess

...and I'm learning the whole club ball thing the hard way

...in a baptism by fire kind of way


But it's all good. So today, I guess I'll go to work. And get Jordan's ankle checked out. And hope I have enough food in the house to fix Cooper's lunchbox and some sort of dinner tonight.

If you need me, I'll be the one over here sporting big ol' bags under my eyes. Trying to figure out how to hook up a coffee pot into an IV.

Cue the crickets

Jordan left early Saturday morning with the youth group to go to camp. (It's not "campy camp in the woods camp"; it's on a college campus in Arkansas. So there is no huge level of "roughing it" involved.)

Incoming messages from her have been scarce to none. That, my people, is a good thing. That means she is having a great time. That means there is no drama or homesickness or unhappiness.

The Captain got a Father's Day call on Sunday morning.

And I have seen the occasional, and sometimes cryptic, Tweet from her....

"I'm here!"

"We got a senior dorm!"

"I love my youth group!"

"Undies wants to know how to use an eyelash curler."

"Great devo tonight"

"Whoa! That was amazing!"

and my personal favorite...

"I'm in love"

(Which could mean anything from loving the milkshakes in the cafeteria, the shampoo she borrowed from her room mate, or some boy she has discovered at the campus bookstore.)

I did get one text that said a few people had thrown up. And one that said they were Skyping with Nick. And one that a friend had been baptized.

Other than that, we haven't heard much from her. And I'm ok with that.

Yesterday I sent up a flare...

"Hello. This is your mother. Just making sure you are still alive. I love you. Peace out. "

Soon, my phone buzzed...

"Love you too!"

:)

A look back and a look ahead

How was your weekend my people? We really had a nice one. Long and full. Filled with family and friends and grilled hamburgers and laundry. Other highlights from the weekend go something like this....

Friday night I went on a real live date with the Captain. We had a yummy dinner at a little seafood place where I had the best shrimp and grits. Then we went shopping for socks and books. How romantic.

Jordan had a friend-boy in town for the day on Saturday. And thus it begins....

We played a new board game. You have to do all this random crazy stuff. During her turn, Jordan had to repeat everything twice for about 15 minutes. During her turn, Jordan had to repeat everything twice for about 15 minutes. It was the funniest thing. It was the funniest thing. I laughed so hard. I laughed so hard.

(Did I ever tell you I wet my pants once while we were playing Apples to Apples cause I was laughing so hard? Oh, I didn't? OK then. Forget it. Move along people. Nothing to see here....)

Cooper's turn required him to write a poem about his arm pit. It went something like this:

It has a hair on it.

I put Axe on it.

It stinks.

Yep, that about sums it up.

Did anybody else catch the Cardinals-Mets game? Yes, the one that went to TWENTY INNINGS. Yes, the one that used 19 pitchers including a shortstop and an outfielder. It was nuts.

And Cooper went 0-2 on Saturday at his game. Boo. But he looks so stinking cute wearing all that catcher's gear.

Last week the Captain was in a meeting -- and sat right beside -- a guy I dated for awhile when the Captain and I were on the skits. The Captain knows I dated him. Not sure the guy knows that the Captain is married to me. Hmmm. I think that's all I'm going to say about that.

In other news, I found out last night at 9:30 that we were out of coffee. I scrounged around and managed to find a little packet of instant something or other that is pretending to be coffee. It is doing a very poor job. This is very bad.

Somebody played a 155 point word on me in Words with Friends. That also was very bad. I started crying so hard I don't even remember what the word was.

Today I am really looking forward to setting up for an all day expo tomorrow. By "set up" I mean lug boxes of pens and brochures from my car to the convention hall. In the rain. I can't wait. By "all day expo" I mean sit at my little booth (ALL DAY) and pass out pens and brochures to people who don't have anything else to do but come to the expo looking for free stuff like pens and brochures.

For those keeping score at home, we have three days until Bingmama and I are headed to Nashville to see Bon Jovi. And that, my pretties, will be a most excellent road trip. And I'm beyond certain there will some significant blog fodder come from this little experience.

It's gonna' be a very busy week. Crazy few days at work. And lots to do on the home-front. The Captain is headed out of town this week too. But he's not going to see Jon and Richie like we are. He's going to hang out at some K-9 convention or something. Woof.

And with that, I'm going to find some REAL coffee.

Or, as Jordan would say, Have a good day. Have a good day.

Three days. Ninety kids.

Everything I learned on my trip to St. Louis with the 7th grade class....

St. Louis is a neat city.

The City Museum totally rocks.

Yes, I went down the 7 story slide.

And yes, I screamed the entire way down.

Teenagers talk a lot.

They talk and never stop.

Ever.

Teenagers take lots of pictures.

The penguins at the St. Louis Zoo were my favorite.

It's an amazing exhibit.

Teenagers take pictures of allllll the animals at the zoo.

And a group of four girls wants to have their pictures made together as a group in front of allllll the animals at the zoo.

With each of their four cameras.

Cheese! Cheese! Cheese! Cheese!

Three days on a charter bus makes my back hurt.

Two nights in a hotel bed makes my back hurt more.

I loved the St. Louis Arch.

Yes, I went to the top.

Teenagers talk a lot.

Oh - I've already said that?

Well, they talk enough that it is worthy of being said again.

Three of the craziest things I saw on the bus that the kids brought:

A bottle of Elmer's glue,

A roll of duct tape,

Last year's year book.

And yes, the chaperone of the kid with the glue was informed of our discovery.

The girl with the duct tape was a bit more trustworthy.

Have I mentioned that 90 teenagers talk a lot?

Connie and I were roomies.

It was fun.

It was just like the old days.

Except we didn't wear each others clothes.

We just shared eye wrinkle cream.

Times have changed people.

The trip was great.

And loud.

But very fun.

St. Louis is a neat city.

And I'm very glad to be home.

With the Captain.

And my kid who has a glued up head.

And the Bloggie Doggie.

The End.

I survived. And pass the Elmer's.

Yes, we made it home safe and sound from our trip to St. Louis with the 7th grade. The trip was great. And sometimes 90 teenagers seem more like 590 teenagers. But more on that later.

First, I must share with you the text messages I got from the Captain on Wednesday night. Which, for those of you keeping score at home, was the day I left....

Captain: Guess where we are?

Connie & I were on the bus returning to the hotel after a very, VERY long day. We were trying to guess where they might be. Sonic? All tucked in the cozy bed? I even made some joke about hoping they weren't in the ER or anything.

So Connie & I sat and patiently watched my iPhone for the next incoming message to give us the answer to the question.

And then we received this picture from the Captain:



Cue the tears.

Cooper had busted his head open playing football in the courtyard at church. Because apparently a 7 year old head does not fare well when it slams into a brick wall.

Connie started patting my arm saying "It's ok." over and over. I was upset. Because being 300 miles away from your child who is in the ER - for even a minor, yet apparently profusely bleeding, accident - is not a good feeling.

My MIL took him to the ER and the Captain - who was at some fancy policey dinner - met them there.

A little glue and he was good to go.

And that is the end of that. Other than some real careful hair washing for the next week or so.

Tomorrow I will share all the things I learned about going to St. Louis with 590 90 teenagers.

Day 3. Heading Home

If all has gone according to plan, today we will be enjoying the St. Louis zoo, lunch at Lamberts and the long trip home.

I'm sure there will be many bloggy tales next week. And I'm sure at this point, I will be dying for my bed. And a little peace and quiet.

In the meantime, why don't you just watch this. It totally cracks me up.

St. Louis. Day Dos

Day 2 of the St. Louis trip....

Today's itinerary takes us to the City Museum, the Science Center, Union Station and Hard Rock Cafe.

In other news...

Happy Birthday to the Captain! (I love you and I'm sorry I'm away on your birthday....)

And to my Nephew T. who is officially a teenager today!

For your viewing pleasure today...

Check out this little video. This will make you smile. I promise.

This is the description that was posted with the video: An elderly couple walked into the lobby of the Mayo Clinic for a checkup and spotted a piano. They've been married for 62 years and he'll be 90 this year. Check out this impromptu performance. We are only as old as we feel, it's all attitude. Enjoy! They certainly do!

And seriously people, how cute is it when they pat each other on the rump.

Get on the bus

By the time you read this, I will be on a bus.

Headed to St. Louis.

With 90 teenagers.

Yep, you guessed it.

I am a c-h-a-p-e-r-o-n-e.

Which is apparently French for "nobody else wants to spend three days trying to keep 90 teenagers in line".

Jordan's entire 7th grade class is headed to St. Louis on a school trip.

Connie is going too.

Cause misery loves company.

Actually there won't be misery.

Just a lot of teenagers.

Enough said.

Seriously though, they are a good group of kids.

And I've never been to St. Louis.

So I'm actually looking forward to the little road trip.

Let me just say that it is *very* hard for a Mom to be gone. For three days. But I have full confidence that the Captain can keep Cooper afloat while I'm gone. Special dress-up day Wednesday, baseball practice Thursday, spelling test Friday, along with the usual blah-blah-blah. I admit I had a tiny breakdown complete with tears when the Captain had a moment of enlightenment after he realized that somebody has to pick Cooper up from school on Friday since he was going to be at work and his mother would be out of pocket due to a medical procedure. "Oh yeahhh". (Dear God: Please don't let anybody forget to pick my baby up from school. Amen.)

On tap for today....

A visit to the Arch.

Dinner and the arcade at Dave and Buster's.

So off we go.

I've got some Lemon Heads, crossword puzzles, the Captain's stun-gun for crowd control and three gallons of hand sanitizer.

KIDDING!! I'M KIDDING.

I only have TWO gallons of hand sanitizer.

I'm hoping Connie, since she has the inside MD connection, is bringing some pills that are small and white.

JUST KIDDING PEOPLE!

Kind of....

Since I won't have much internet access, I'll be doing the beloved auto-post the rest of this week.

If I don't show back up on the ol' blog next week, call the authorities.

So peace out people. Play nice while I'm gone.