Here's looking at you

I went to the eye doctor. After he rolled my eyelid inside out like a window shade (which doesn't hurt, but feels totally weird), and looked in there and said "Hmmmmmm" about 5 times, he said there is definitely a place on the inside of my eyelid that is red and swollen, but he didn't think there was anything embedded in there. Just some "nonspecific irritation". He gave me a prescription for an antibiotic/steroid and this is the conversation that followed:

MD: Pull your eyelid down and squirt a thin layer on the bottom of your eye.
Me: What do you mean 'squirt a layer'?! This isn't a drop!?!?
MD: I could give you a drop, but you will respond better to an ointment.
Me: Ointment? Like Vaseline?!
MD: I guess you could compare it to Vaseline.
Me: Oh yuk.
MD: As you blink, it will coat the entire eye.
Me: Coat the entire eye!?! Will I be able to see?
MD: You should be able to after about 10 minutes.

Hmmmmmmm. And I have to do it 3 times a day until Sunday. He thinks I will see some improvement in just a few days. Until then, it's Glassesville. I have gone to this eye doctor for 30+ years and this is the first time he has ever given me his cell phone number in case I needed him "after hours or over the weekend". What does that mean!?!? That was a little unnerving, but I guess it's no big deal. I can see (at least until I put that OINTMENT in there) and it's not really HURTING. So it'll be ok.

See you later people. Get it? SEE you later. And this is a post about my eyes.....and I said SEE you later.....I crack myself up.