Hey. Ya. No.

There is allegedly a video of me on Facebook.

And allegedly I'm playing Just Dance.

With Jordan and two of her church youth group friends at a little holiday gathering yesterday. A little Hey Ya.

And I'm looking quite oldish.

And fattish.

And not coolish.

Awesome.

How many people will really see it anyway?

The guy only has 535 friends.

So there's that.

But I think he put it on the other kids walls too.

And they have a total of 2,178 friends.

But surely there are some duplicate friends in there.

So probably only 1,782 people will see it.

Whew, that's a relief.

But that's still a lotta' people seeing me shake my middle-aged groove thing.

Hey, maybe nobody will recognize me.

I did have a cap on. And the lighting wasn't too great. And we were moving around and all. And the video was taken with an iPhone.

No luck.

It's obviously me. No mistaking those saggy body parts. And if there is any doubt, Jordan calls me MOM more than once.

Thanks for that.

Do I get any points for being the ONLY adult who was willing to dance in front of ten teenagers in the first place?

Much less ON VIDEO?

Yeah, I get points. Stupid points.

STUPID. STU. PID.

Blah. I'm mortified.

So, I'll be changing churches effective today.

And changing my name.

And leaving town.

A reverse witness protection program of sorts.

Other than the video debaucle, my long Independence Day holiday weekend was pretty awesome.

Good times. Good friends.

And the video.

Good grief.

At the Ballpark

Family night out at the baseball game Monday night gave us these lovely moments...

I got on the jumbo screen! Yes, that was me!! And contrary to what you may have heard, I was *NOT* dancing to Twist and Shout. I did not twist. Or shout. I was just clapping wildly. But it worked. And earned me five seconds of fame. On the big screen. And I'm glad I had on some lip gloss.

There was a lady a few rows in front of us who turned around talked to the people right behind her the entire game. They were all together - she knew them. But she talked to them the entire game. No, seriously -- The. Entire. Game. "So I gave my computer to my mom and dad....and mom took a class....and now she knows more than I do.....And once we drove TO and FROM St. Louis in ONE DAY....how stupid was that....and we can't do those kinds of things anymore.....This time of year makes my skin SO DRY.....So I just went straight to her house and told her I would help with the kids.....Well, we had that problem when we lived in Texas......"

People will do anything to get a free t-shirt that has an oil change place logo on it. Honestly people, have you no dignity?

Daughter: "Why did papa get a brand new bag? Did his other one have a hole in it?"

I may or may not have yelled THATWASASTRIKE!! really loud in the bottom of the 6th.

Approximately 80 year old lady behind us when the other team scored a double play on us: "Well, that just looked like poop." You tell 'em lady.

A late rally in the 9th - which is always most exciting - wasn't enough to earn the home team a win - which is always not exciting.

And it was fun. And the weather was great. And the game was good. Even though we lost. And a good time was had by all. Amen.