It's a party

Today is my daddy's birthday.

Big party in heaven today.

He would have been 73.

Sure do miss him.

I've come across some old pictures of him so I'll try to put some up on here soon.  He was a stud.

And I found some pictures of Connie and me from the 70's & 80's.  True beauties.  We never met a hot roller we didn't like.

Stay tuned for all that.

Dream in a dream

I dreamed about my dad Monday night.

Kind of odd since he's been gone five and a half years and I've probably only dreamed about him two or three times. 

Why is that?

And, when I have dreamed about him, it's only been his back - never his front - never his face or his voice.

Why is that?

I was talking to somebody that night about his dad who has leukemia - which is what took my dad.  But, I've talked about leukemia before.

And, I've been going through some old photos of my dad.  But, I've done that before too.

And, I had lots of beach on the brain. And, the beach reminds me of my dad. But, I've been to the beach plenty of times since he died.

So, I don't know what triggered that dream.  Maybe a combination of all of those things.

And it was his face. And he talked.  Which has never happened. In my dream, he was in remission, but thought he had relapsed.  And all he said was "I've got a hunch. I've got a hunch.I've got a hunch." 

Which is kind of weird.  Because "hunch" isn't really a word I don't think my dad would use.

Anyway, in my dream, I then realized that my dad was already dead, and it was just a dream.  So it was a dream in a dream?  That's weird too.

It was all odd.

But it was my daddy.

And I got to "see" him and "talk" to him.

And that was nice.

January 31, 2007

Daddy gone.
Five years.
Time passes.
Things change.
Stay same.
Not fair.
It's hard.
Heart hurts.
I'm sad.
Miss him.
Stupid leukemia.
Don't like.
DON'T LIKE.
Hate it.
HATE IT.
Weepy eyes.
Distracted soul.
Need him.
Miss him.
Wanna' talk.
Sad heart.
Life continues.

like. times a thousand.

my daddy's chair

which is now

in my son's room

Things

So I spent the weekend downtown at a volleyball tournament. What else is new, right? It was fun. But long. Jordan starts PT this afternoon so hopefully it won't be long before she is back on the court.

And apparently the weekend featured some beautiful, sunny, 60's-warm weather. Who knew. I hardly saw the light of day. {See paragraph above.}

I am discovering how challenging it is to be gone all weekend and then hit the ground running Monday morning back to work and school. Lots of things don't get done. Like laundry washing and grocery shopping and house cleaning and week planning. *sigh* Must figure out a way to remedy this situation.

And finally, I lost my Daddy to leukemia four years ago today. It remains one of the saddest days of my life. And the most difficult things I have ever gone through. It seems like forever ago. And it seems like yesterday. And sometimes it's hard to even think about it because it makes me feel like I've been socked in the stomach and just can't breathe. I miss him. The end.

Alrighty then....I'm off to tackle the day they call Monday.

My favorite Halloween story

Like any other kids, on Halloween, Connie & I could. not. wait. to get out there and start trick-or-treating. We would practically INHALE our dinner so we could hit the streets. After dinner, Mom would stay home to answer the door for our own trick-or-treaters. Daddy would accompany us on our candy seeking mission. Ever the dutiful Dad, he would stand down on the sidewalk while Connie & I, clad as who knows what, would trudge up to the front doors and do our Trick or Treat spiel. These were the days, people, when we would just go and go and go. From neighborhood to neighborhood to neighborhood. Go home, dump the loot and head out again. Good times.

OK, on to my favorite Halloween story. (At this point, I am betting that Mom and Connie are already laughing out loud as they read this....if they even made it past the title.....)

So here we go....Daddy, Connie & me. Armed with orange plastic pumpkins. Seeking chocolate treasures.

We notice a little dog following us as we walk down the street. Fine with us. He's just trotting along. Not really bothering anybody or anything. Obviously having a fine canine Halloween evening. At this point, we are not even in our neighborhood. So we don't know whose dog it is. But whatever. We're in it for the candy. Dog's not bothering us.

Connie & I go up to a house and ring the doorbell.

(Seriously right now I am laughing so hard I can hardly type this....)

(I can remember this VIVIDLY)

(Sorry, I digress....)

A man opens the door.

Right when the man opened the door, this little dog suddenly RUNS IN THEIR HOUSE.

Impulsively, I CHASE HIM INTO THEIR HOUSE.

I am screaming, "IT'S NOT MY DOG! IT'S NOT MY DOG!"

The woman is at the kitchen sink washing dishes.

(OK, I just snorted out loud cause I am laughing so hard right this minute....)

And this little dog starts running around her kitchen.

Once again "IT'S NOT MY DOG! IT'S NOT MY DOG!"

We finally wrangle the dog and get out.

Maybe the hilarious shock of escapade has caused me not to remember the rest of the evening. Or even what we did when we got to the sidewalk. Or whatever happened to the dog. Or anything. I can't even tell you what my costume was. But I can still - 30 something years later - see that woman at the sink with a dog running around her kitchen. Vividly. Vividly people.

Here's hoping tomorrow you get lots of treats. And no tricks. And no stray dogs running around in your kitchen.

Cooper drew me a picture

Isn't that sweet? Just out of the blue.

I absolutely love how he wrote "yor yuor your"

And that he put "Your Dad".

Funny thing is, it actually kind of looks like Dad.

Cooper has a precious heart. And it misses his Poo-Pah too.

Happy Birthday USMC!

The United States Marine Corps was organized on this date in 1775. Semper fi!

Here's a picture of my favorite Marine....

I love you Daddy!