All hail the glue gun.

Last night was filled with that infamous crafty school project known as the "Diorama Book Report."

I figure a project that requires a shoe box requires my going shopping for shoes.

But, too bad, Coop found a suitable box.

Construction paper, Lego people, plastic bushes, brown sugar (aka dirt) and the ol' reliable glue gun came together fairly well to make the project.  Seriously, my life would be incomplete without my glue gun.  I've had him for probably 20+ years.  He's a good friend.  And has bailed me out of numerous challeges.

It was tense because we still needed to study Bible, color a geography map of Minnesota, and write two paragraphs about the life of Muhammad Ali.  Ah, the homework life of a fifth grader.   At least we didn't have any math.  That would have totally put me over the edge. 

I was already a little emotionally unstable since just hours before I had a fish funeral for my favorite fish.  Lucy.  RIP Lucy Ricardo, the red molly.   *sniff*

So, while all the homework got done, the laundry didn't.  Trying to get that rolling this moring, since we are headed to a volleyball tournament this afternoon and I'd really rather us all not root through dirty clothes baskets as we pack.

Happy weekend, people!  See you on the flip side.

holdin' on

This is that time of year where we just hang on for dear life and hope we can finish all this wake up early, make the lunchbox, do the homework, go go go school stuff.

Everybody is hanging on.

Major tests in everything for Jordan this week.   I've been quizzing Jordan this week on all her study guides.   All sorts of stuff.   A WWI study guide. Or was it WWII?  I can't remember.  Becasue it's history.  And I'm allergic to history.   And French 2, which is always lots of fun because I don't speak French.  And last night some sort of poety iambic pentameter thing.  

Tired.  Tired.  Tired. 

Everything is hanging on.

Including that box of nubby crayons.

And the binders with their dangly edges.

And the uniform khaki pants with holes in their knees.

Intensity and pace are high.

Motivation and energy levels are low.

Just a few more days.

Hold on.

Science and stuff

Cooper recently uttered the most dreadful words known to humanity.

"It's time for the science fair."

I don't do science.

I'm allergic.

The Captain handles all the scientific stuff about the science fair.

I handle paper, font, color, layout, alignment. Stuff like that.

I thought he had it all decided and was going to recycle a topic that Jordan used one year: "Which pain reliever dissolves fastest in water?"

But last night Cooper said he was part of Sydney and Zach's group doing something about growing plants with Coke or something like that. He lost me after he used the word "group." I HATE group projects. Hate. But it sounds like Sydney's mom is on top of it. So, fine with me. She can just let me know when Cooper is supposed to bring some Coke over to her house. Or whatever it is.

My lofty goal is to just make it through today. This five-day work week is slightly ridiculous. I just want to get back home to my jammie pants and monkey slippers. And play a little Bejeweled. And read Mockingjay. Oh, and sleep. A lot.

Peace and love.

A little knock knock and then let's go.

Today is the big day. It's the Fourth Grade Talent Show.

Cooper will be doing knock knock jokes. And will be getting a pie in the face. They have a door and everything. This is a first class production, this fourth grade talent show. After he totally annoys his partner with knock knock jokes, his friend gives HIM a little knock knock....

Knock knock.

Who's there?

Piefer

Piefer who?

Piefer YOU!

At dinner last night he prayed that "the talent show will go OK and that there will be no mishaps with Matthew's magic trick." What on earth is this Matthew kid doing? Sawing the teacher in half?? I'm a little nervous about that.

Tomorrow begins the Great Texas Thanksgiving Adventure. I'm soooo excited about seeing the Captain's sisters. And to meet the newest member of our family, little baby Kennedy.

I got a text from my LSU crazed brother-in-law saying he now has to work on Friday and won't be watching the game with me. I'm not sure if he's telling the truth or if he's just skeeeeeered about facing the mighty Hogs. See also: Wooo Pig.

We're headed out tomorrow morning with the Captain's grandmother and his aunt. There may or may not be a catheter and a wheelchair involved. No comment on this.

And I found out yesterday that the interstate is down to one lane for half our journey and then closed due to flooding for the other half of our journey. So it looks like we will be heading to Texas via St. Louis....

I told the Captain last night I could tell there would be adventure on this trip. I can just feel it in my bones. Except for my toe. I can only feel pain in my toe because I rammed it on a door frame Sunday night and it's swollen and purple and broken and hurts like *(#&(@*&#. But, in the holiday spirit, it looks very much like sugar plum. So I've got that going for me.

The Captain's chef sister will be cooking Thanksgiving dinner for us. Remember when we went to her graduation from culinary academy? I hope during this Texas trip we can have a nice relaxing visit, with delicious food, sans puke.

I only have about 27,194 things to do before we head out in the morning. But then it's all good. And we'll be on the road. For the Great Texas Thanksgiving Adventure.

I'll let you know how the talent show goes. And if there are any mishaps with Matthew and his ... ummmm.... magic feats.

Peace and love.

First, you gotta' love God, then ...

Open house for Cooper last night. A little disappointed there were no handprint turkeys.... but some good work nonetheless.

Including this little gem.

The kids had to write the kind of person they hope to marry one day.

Hey fourth grade gals, wanna' catch Cooper's eye?

It's pretty simple....

"I would like a Christian.

I would like a WWE fan.

I would like a good girl.

I would like an awesome girl to go to church with."

*sniff*

OK, weekend plans?

A little Friday night lights tonight -- Semi-final playoff game! GO LIONS!!

Putting up Christmas stuff tomorrow...

College football. Of course.

Peace and love, my cupcakes.

See you Monday.

He No Wear Feather

Yesterday was Coop's Thanksgiving celebration at school and they were supposed to dress like Indians or Pilgrims.

I found a printable little Indian feather headdress thing. Printed it out, cut it out, cut all those notches in the paper card stock feather - you know, so it would look real - poked holes, tied string etc etc etc.

Since I was fresh out of deerskin pants and buffalo hide vests, my little Indian wore that official Native American apparel known as blue jeans and a camo tshirt. And the lovely paper feather headdress thing.

That was as good as it was going to get. And that was going to be just fine.

And apparently, he wasn't too keen on the feather headdress thing because last night he confessed that the minute he walked in the front door of the school, he took it off and threw it in the garbage can.

Alrighty then.

4th grade math homework

See also: Wailing and gnashing of teeth.

Please remember to carry your three.

Hide under couch pillows.

(Him, not me. Although I gave it some serious consideration.)

What on earth? You know what six times seven is. For the love...

Root canal > 4th grade math homework

Help me Jesus. And God. And Mary. And Joseph. And Matthew, Mark, Luke, and John ...

I could never home school.

Never. Ever.

I could never even TEACH school.

Thank you, God, for teachers.

Especially 4th grade math teachers.

Yea! You finished a page. Three more to go!

It's CARRY not TIMES.

"This is so stuuuuu-pid."

Him.

And me.

No, dinner is not ready, because we've been working on this math for an hour.

And, now you are finished.

Hooray.

And amen.

Doot doot doot

It was a big day in the 4th grade yesterday.

The kids got their recorders.

I SAID THE KIDS GOT THEIR RECORDERS.

As Connie put it, "Doot doot doot."

Yep, that's what it sounds like.

Doot doot doot.

And lots of it.

And every time the Captain sees Cooper's recorder, he grabs it and plays the intro to the Star Wars theme. He is quite proud of himself.

All of this musical activity gives me flashbacks to this summer when Cooper was obsessed with his new harmonica.

And he played it for three weeks.

Constantly.

And all he knew was Jingle Bells.

Over and over and over and over.

For three weeks.

Jingle all the way.

And now, the recorder.

The joy overflows.

Big fourth grade doings yesterday also included learning the middle row on the keyboard and so now they can type "without even looking down!"

Oh, and they learned e and i.

So he can type words like dig and hit and leg.

But not doot doot doot.

Priorities

In addition to

"spelling words"

"math test"

"parent orientation at 7:00"

I saw this on Cooper's school assignment pad:



Boy is obsessed.