Not guilty.

Jury duty. Over.

Boring case. But interesting experience. Especially the deliberating part.

Our self-appointed foreman was a piece of work. And I knew we were in trouble when she said the only TV channel she ever watches is Court TV. And then later tried to sneak out with all the evidence. Seriously. Was taking it home.

And y'all, it wasn't anything exciting. It was a car wreck case. The only evidence was a picture of a wrecked truck and a copy of some medical records.

It was interesting how a group of total strangers worked through the decision. However, ol' Juror #5 was quite the hangup and for an HOUR prevented us from making a unanimous decision. (Or "ananamous" as the Court TV Obsessed Foreman called it. She kind of let me down when she said that.)

But, once we figured out that #5 didn't drive then we realized that was the reason she wasn't understanding the issue. So we turned it into something related to walking down the street and wanting a biscuit. Don't ask. It worked. Not guilty. Ananamous decision. The end. We were thanked for our service and dismissed.

So, that brings us to today.

Cooper is still in school. That's a big blah. I've kind of shut down on his last two weeks of school. To the point that I missed a deadline of a project he had due on Monday. And that's so not like me.

At this moment, I guess Jordan is somewhere between Memphis and Virginia. They are going to Monticello today. Then driving on in to D.C. She FINALLY got excited about the trip and the "real" Jordan showed back up yesterday. Thank goodness. She's still working through some stuff, but I think she's moved past eating raw cookie dough....

Alrighty, y'all have a nice day. Play nice.

All rise...

Just call me Juror #13.

Yep, I got picked.

And nope, they didn't care that I was married to the law.

They weren't phased one bit.

It's ok. Not too bad. And we should wrap up this afternoon. So that's good too.

I'm sworn under oath not to talk to you about it. But let's just say, it's not a very exciting case.

In other news, Jordan leaves tonight at 10pm on her class trip to Washington, DC. Not gonna' lie to you that I'm having some high anxiety about this. For a lot of reasons. Doesn't help that I'm just a bit unstable right now. They'll be gone for a week. That's a long time. *sigh*

OK, I'm off to act fairly and impartially in considering the evidence presented.

Don't pick me....

Guess what today is?!? My first day of Jury Duty. Inexplicable joy, people. And, as if manuerving through downtown isn't bad enough, the President of the United States of America will be downtown today delivering a high school commencement address. Major. Traffic. Snarl.

The only good thing about today's jury duty is there is a guy from church who has to go too. So we are carpooling down there today. It probably won't work out the rest of the week because we will probably be picked for separate trials and such. But at least I'll have a friend today.

I'm wondering how today will play out...

Now, don't get me wrong - I'm all in favor of our legal system and a firm believer in a fair trial and I love the USA and all that stuff... But it wouldn't hurt my feelings one bit if they didn't pick me to sit on a trial.

Maybe they won't pick me....

Wondering if I can play my "I sleep with a cop" card or the ever popular "I watch Law & Order every night and am a big fan of courtroom drama!".

Oh well.

I'm taking my book. Cause it promises to be a long day. It also promises to be excellent blog fodder. People watching at its finest. So stay tuned.

Now, for the latest from the Department of Homeland Break-Ups...She's moved on from bags of chocolate and sad country music to raw cookie dough and Nicholas Sparks movies. Guess that's progress. It's still slightly complicated. But they will figure it out.

Alrighty....that's it for me. Let's hope it's a good day. And let's hope I don't get sequestered.

Yeah, thanks.

I can't wait....

Whole lotta' people

So this is how the whole jury duty thing went down yesterday.

It ended up bring pretty uneventful.

Once I got there.

As I got closer to downtown, traffic became more and more snarled.

And by snarled, I mean a ginormous traffic jam with cars not moving and police directing traffic through non-operating lights.

And then it started becoming real clear that I was going to be late.

And that's when my anxiety level started going off the chart.

So I did what I always do to calm down.

I called Bingmama.

"I'M GONNA BE LATE. TRAFFIC IS SO BAD. I'M NOT EVEN MOVING. I'M JUST SITTING HERE. THERE'S NO WAY I'LL BE THERE BY 12:30. THEY ARE GOING TO HAVE A WARRANT OUT FOR MY ARREST BECAUSE I DIDN'T SHOW UP FOR JURY DUTY. YOU HAVE GOT TO FIND OUT WHAT IS GOING ON DOWN HERE AND WHAT ON EARTH ALL THIS TRAFFIC IS ABOUT."

That's when she told me all the traffic was about me. And the other 3,000 people who were showing up for jury duty.

Yes, I said 3,000 people.

I literally got one of the last places in the big parking garage. And it wasn't even a sanctioned parking place. The Parking Garage Traffic Directing Guy told 10 of us to just "pull over right here and get out". Huh? Right here in this "non-place place"? OK.... Just don't chain a barrel on my car. (I've had a barrel chained to my car before and it's not an enjoyable experience. I really didn't think that "No Parking" sign in front of that hardware store was legit. But that's another story for another time...)

Anyhoo, after I made it through all that, I headed on up to the big ol' room filled with lots o' people.

And the jury duty guy said this was actually a "Jury Qualification Session" and apparently I'm still qualified. So I sat down.

And we took a fancy oath thing swearing to tell the truth and all that.

And listened to the judge tell us why it's so important to serve and all that.

And then they called out the dates that we can choose from to serve. (Apparently our county is one of the only ones in the country that allows jurors to pick the week they will be serving.)

And I picked a week in May.

And they made me promise to show up that week.

And then I went back to work.

The end.

Today is...

Today is...only Wednesday. Anybody else think this week has already just been way too long?

Today is...the day I head downtown for my jury duty thing. I think today all I will do is sit in the big ol' convention center with 39,402 other people and select the week that I would like to serve. I've checked my calendar and the week of June 10 looks good. That's June of 2015.

Today is...the day that my sweet, little, wee, newborn baby Niece M turns 16. SIXTEEN. As in Sweet Sixteen. As in Gets Her Drivers License. Sixteen. I can hardly stand it.

Today is...five days away from Selection Sunday. Wahoooo! Because we all know that March Madness might as well be called the Most Wonderful Time of the Year. I. Can't. Wait.

Today is...here. Ready? Go!

Looking for an out

So I'm still trying to think of some ways to get out of jury duty.

I think next week I just show up and sit there all day and pick my week to serve.

But a girl can't be too prepared.

I'm still thinking the "infamous offense" or the "mental issues" is going to be my best bet....

There were some good suggestions in the comments on yesterday's post. And yes, Mom, Connie was TOTALLY KIDDING when she suggested using the time in college when we drove on the sidewalk down Park Avenue to get from the Walgreens to the Captain D's. So don't think that happened. Because it didn't. Nope. We would never do that. Ever.

Then I got this great advice from a coworker yesterday: "When they ask you a question, just keep talking and talking. Don't ever stop talking. Oh - wait - just be yourself..."

In other news, work is busy. The weather is gorgeous. Cooper has started baseball. And Jordan has strep throat.

The end.

Have a happy day.

The invitation

Yeah, so I got invited to jury duty.

Or as Cooper said when he read it out loud, "I am Herbie Sim-owned" which is also known as "hereby summoned".

There are apparently ways to be excused. Because the invitation even came with a little list.

Eighteen years or older, US citizen - ok, check check - no loophole there.

Convicted of a felony? Nope.

Convicted of an "infamous offense"? Aahhhhaaaa....So I ask the Captain for more details on this as I'm SURE I have been a party to an infamous offense. He quickly told me that rolling a yard did not count. Humph. I'm thinking I still may need to follow up on this...

Physical condition? No way out there.

That's when I saw it.

I'm going to try to use the “mental issues which may prevent a potential juror from serving”, but apparently it might take a real MD to diagnose that, not just one’s husband and a few close friends...

Connie said it might be either good or bad my last name begins with a “W”. Also, "Doesn’t it matter that you are a policeman’s wife??? I would think your logic is skewed as to criminals." She's got a point.

So next week I'll spend most of Wednesday sitting down at the convention center.

It's at least good for a few things:

Catching up on my book, people watching, blog fodder.

Stay tuned.

And, oh my word people, it's March 1st.

So Rabbit Rabbit and all that stuff.

Yeah, it was a weekend full of volleyball

This weekend featured a road trip to Huntsville for a volleyball tournament.

And at some point, I may or may not have missed a big sign that says Huntsville! Huntsville! Turn left here!

My GPS, Sir Timothy Tom Tom, had made me mad early in the journey, so I had turned him off.

That was probably key to our directional demise.

Humph.

But, other than getting lost slightly detoured, it was a good weekend.

There was lots of good volleyball. The key word in that sentence is "lots". Which actually means about 12 hours worth on Saturday.

Jordan was back on the court. Which is a good thing. Her ankle was fine and gave her no trouble. Which is also a good thing.

It was the last joint tourny for Jordan and Niece M. So more wild road trips with my sister. That makes me sad, because we have lots of fun together.

And by "wild road trip", I mean playing Rock Paper Scissors for which of the four of us gets the bathroom first.

And fighting over the last few bits of Puppy Chow.

And stopping on the highway to take a picture of a tree covered with shoes.

Good times. Good times.

So, now Jordan and I will road trip it alone. Or take the Captain and Coop with us.

Last night when I got home, I had three things waiting on me...

The Captain.

The Boy.

And a jury summons.

*GROAN*

I've already worked myself into the hives thinking about getting sequestered and sharing a hotel room for a week with a total stranger.

Because I cannot see myself playing Rock Paper Scissors with a stranger for bathroom access order.

Happy Monday People. Go forth and do good.